"'Don't go on vacation again with your parents.' So I haven't. My grandma died two months ago; my whole family went over. ... It was so extremely hard not to go. It's still my family, and I still love a lot of them -- my grandma was this sweet old kind lady who loved all her grandchildren to bits. And I couldn't go, because it was just too much of a risk for me as a person to go with my family."
Fear of death is normal at a funeral, but not this way.
"We'd have been going to those rural areas, where they have those goddamn boarding schools. My dad's youngest sis was quite rebellious as a child. She came out four years later a COMPLETELY devout wife. She's married right now to a dude who cheats on her, treats her like crap, and all she does is take care of his children. She's so devout, so unquestioning ... it's frightening."
Fear of being the victim of an honor killing permeates every aspect of Azime's life. It's like every time she goes to work, watches TV, or gets laid, she's doing it with an ax above her head.
"We're not just talking actually getting killed, but everything around it. This ranges from having to lead a complete double life to stress, paranoia, anxiety, depression, suicide, and a shorter lifespan (because your heart really loves the permanent stress)."
Which is basically honor killing by proxy.
"And we've not even gotten into the whole range of life choices that get narrowed for you, like hobbies or projects you can't do because it might lead to you getting found out (personally, I've been dying to start a couple of YouTube projects, but I can't risk plastering my face over the Internet)."
We'd love to end this article on a hopeful note, but we actually have the exact opposite for you. A few weeks after reaching out to us, while the article was wrapping up development, Azime stopped responding to our messages. She didn't say she'd lost interest, she didn't express any dissatisfaction with the article: She just dropped off the face of the Earth. So, Azime, if you just dropped your laptop in a puddle or spontaneously joined a kung fu monastery, please get back in touch with us as soon as you either get a new MacBook or master the Rising Dragon Kick. We're worried.
Robert Evans runs the personal experience section of Cracked, and he has a Twitter.
Yeah, so, you know maybe if you think your life sucks, add this perspective to it. Or be happy that confiding in others won't get you sent to a prison camp, or your neighbors aren't trying to massacre you. See what we mean in 5 Ways Growing Up In North Korea Is Crazier Than You Think and 6 Realities Of Being In A Genocide.
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