Carly is married now, so she hopefully never has to explain herself again. But both of them still have to deal with the dumb questions of well-meaning people. "I've had people ask me so many weird questions, and too many of them tend to be creepy," Kelsey says. "When you tell guys, there's like this ... dull moment of incomprehension, and then a really strange mood takes over. Not just guys I'm dating, either. I had a platonic friend who told me out of the blue, 'I bet you could fit like, ten dicks in you.' I don't know if maybe [he thought] that was flirting? It didn't work. Another common question was, 'If we had a threesome, could you get pregnant from both of us?' And I'm like, 'Why would I want to have a threesome? Especially with you?'" She added that, "Men can't help but be creepy, because they always try to do it in some seductive way."
RTimages/iStock/Getty ImagesThough where he got the idea that multiple pregnancies were seductive is anybody's guess.
And yet women ask questions that are even worse. "A lot of women ask if they could touch it," says Kelsey. "Like my best friend, when I told her, she was like 'I WANT TO TOUCH IT' and I'm like 'OK, I'm cool with that. But why?' It was just something she'd never felt before, and she wanted to know what it was like." To be fair, if a guy you know confided that he had two fully-formed penises, you would immediately ask if you could A) see them, and B) if he were able to gyrate his hips in such a way to spin his twin genitals like dual helicopter blades. However, asking to touch your friend's abnormal private parts definitely crosses come kind of line.
In Carly's case, the questions got even more uncomfortably personal. "The weirdest question I get is, 'Did you eat your twin?' That one blows my mind. At least three people have asked me that in my life." If you're wondering this (And if so, WHY?) Dr. Ina assures us that neither vaginal septum nor uterus didelphys is caused by intrauterine cannibalism. Considering that this is the same medical mind which coined the phrase "double-barreled shotgun vagina," we feel confident in his conclusion.
Robert Evans runs the Personal Experience section of Cracked, and he has a Twitter.
Now let's do a 180 and learn about a guy with no genitals in 6 Things I Learned Having My Penis Surgically Removed. Or find out what it's like when you got 'em but they don't function correctly in 6 Things You Learn When Your Penis / Vagina Doesn't Work.
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