Obviously, it was all useless to us. You can't just drop shit off at the lab in a hat box. You have to preserve this stuff or it breaks down. Other times, patients just aren't particularly well instructed on how to collect their poop samples. So we've literally gotten things like poop on a plate, or patients who just scooped their shit into food containers and shipped it on down to our office through the pneumatic tube system (yes, like at a bank drive-thru). I'd describe this in further detail but, y'know what? Here:
That is one small pile of shit.
Another co-worker got stool in a chocolate pudding container. I've gotten it in mayo jars. Lunch Mate Tupperware is a popular choice. We've gotten it in I Can't Believe It's Not Butter containers ("Yep, I'll believe it"). I just got a lime-flavored mayo poop jar last Friday. Turns out that used to be my co-worker's mayo flavor of choice.
Used to be.
I guess they'll have to try one of the other perplexing number of mayo flavors.
Oh, and if you're wondering about eye-worm guy: We called the doctor, who contacted the patient and had him come by and give specimens the normal way. They were negative, but he still complained about the eye-worms. That's when we realized he'd had a recent change in his heart medication. So they changed him back to the old drugs and boom, no more worm hallucinations. His heart medicine had been the culprit all along.
Now, obviously that's the grossest thing we have to deal with, so it's smooth sailing from here on out. Oh, wait ...