Getting a transplant in any country isn't easy, but it's especially difficult in countries like Japan, where people are very particular about what can and can't be done with dead bodies. The Japanese believe that a dead body should remain intact for spiritual reasons, and since most living people are pretty attached to their internal organs, donors are hard to come by.
Christopher Furlong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
But if you're living and not that attached to your organs, gimme a call.
For a long time, transplants were only legal in the case of a brain-dead donor, and then only if both the donor and his family had given consent. That was troubling, because brain-dead people generally aren't very communicative, and children can't consent at all, so basically no organ donations for sick kids. Luckily, the laws were recently relaxed for exactly those reasons.
Even so, the supply of organs remains low and the reluctance to perform transplants remains high. While 68 transplants are performed every day in the U.S., kidney transplants are only performed 10 times a year in Japan. The waiting list is 15 years long, and people often have to leave the country in order to get the life-saving transplants they need -- that is, if they can afford it. My situation is a bit less dire, but still, I'm on a waiting list in Japan to get a kidney transplant. I want to pee again.
For NON-sexual reasons. #NotAllJapan
I could travel to China for an organ transplant, which is a storied pastime among sick Japanese people, but that basically requires you to be OK with the fact that you're probably going to be taking organs from some executed prisoner. I don't want that on my conscience. So for now, it's 15 hours a week of dialysis naps, peppered with vague, wistful dreams of being able to urinate.
Seriously, treasure your ability to pee, my friends. Treasure it.
Be sure to follow us on Facebook and YouTube, where you can catch all our video content, such as 5 Bizarre Ways The World Can Kill You Without Warning and other videos you won't see on the site!
Also check out 5 Things Your Doctor Really Wants to Say To You (But Won't) and 5 Reasons Life As A Deaf Person Is Weirder Than You Thought.
Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us here.