4

Boning Still Works -- It Just Looks A Little Different

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Men, I know what your first question in a hypothetical paralyzation scenario is:

"What about my dick?"

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"Shut up, I'm asking him already."

Because that is always your first question in literally every scenario. You'll be happy to know that getting your spinal cord crushed doesn't always mean losing all sensation in your little buddy. I did, but it's not as big of a problem as you might think. It's a perfectly average-sized problem, thank you very much.

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Like, this big of a problem, if I had to get specific.

But rest assured that this dog still has some fight in him. Even though I can't feel it, I can and do still get boners. My dick is basically a dildo attached to my body, but that's fine, because the nerves from your penis up and move camp when they get the eviction notice. My nipples, for example, have become much more sensitive, and I can almost orgasm from stimulating them alone. The same goes for the inside of my elbow, for some weird reason. So it's still possible to have a totally fulfilling sex life. You just have to keep an open mind, start licking things, and see what happens. Much like how all sex works, really.

3

You Can Die From Poop

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2

Handicapped Parking Isn't Always About Being Closer To The Entrance

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You know how handicapped parking spots have those white lines on their sides? Those aren't for decoration. But it's not just dickheads in Audis taking those up; even other handicapped people park on them, and all the time. That's a big deal -- we need those three feet of space. You ever tried to back a giant honking van out of a parking space without legs?

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Try parallel parking a tank and you'll start to get the picture.

1

We Are Not Helpless, And Your Help May Be Hurting Us

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For some reason, people assume that all the disabled are on welfare, but the reality is that many of us have jobs; sometimes pretty well-paying ones. I've got one friend who recently passed the bar exam, and another who retired after 30 years as an electrical engineer. I've met very few people who don't work or aren't in school for something. We don't want to stay at home all day. There's only so much Netflix you can watch before that little "continue watching?" warning pops up and makes you realize you're wasting your life.

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Surviving a crash, spinal injury, and nearly freezing, only to spend your days
marathoning Hemlock Grove kind of seems like squandering your second chance.

As with employment, little everyday things may be a bit more difficult for us, but we can still do most anything. Yet strangers still step in to help constantly. Which is great, but 9 times out of 10, their help is actually hurting us. For example, when people try to open doors for me, they open it from the inside. That means they're blocking it partially. I need the whole door open, so my options are either to tell a well-meaning stranger to fuck off or to run over their toes. If I'm going up a ramp or something, people will try to push me, but the problem is that my body is in a position where I'm balanced. If you come up to push me, it throws me off-balance and I'll fall over forward. A lot of us don't have push handles on our chairs for exactly this reason.

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Feel free to try that on someone on a skateboard or bicycle if you aren't sure why wheels and surprises don't mix.

I know people mean well, but the best advice I can give someone is to ask first. When you see a little old lady at a crosswalk, you offer her your arm. You don't run up to her from behind, whip her into a fireman's carry, and sprint through traffic Frogger-style.

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For more insider perspectives Amputee Fetishes: 6 Realities Of Losing Both Legs As A Girl and 5 Secrets I Know About Women (From Writing Their Weird Porn).