Also, you probably think of leeches as an old-timey medical anomaly. But after some plastic surgeries, reconstructed areas of the body get incompetent veins. The function of veins is to bring blood back to the heart, so if they're not working, the arteries bring blood away from the heart and to the desired location, then the veins say fuck it and toss it wherever, like some lazy teenager home from school. The arteries don't really have an "off" option, so blood piles up in that one spot, until the pressure of it kills all the cells it's trying to bring nutrients and oxygen to. One way to alleviate this is bloodletting, and the best way we have to do that is to stick a handy medical-grade leech onto you.
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"We were gonna operate with lasers, but your HMO would only cover blood-sucking bog worms."
And we need those leeches; during one particularly nasty storm, the leech delivery boys called in sick with "terroritis," so one of our interns drove their own car out to the leech farm and packed it full of vampire-slugs. Someone's life was depending on that man turning his hybrid into a blood wagon, so he stepped up to the plate and took several pounds of leeches for the team.
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