Jesse
Jesse writes Pictofacts, videos, and emails for Cracked. He used to do that stuff at CollegeHumor and the UCB. Not looking for anything serious.
twitter.com/eisemann
Tell Us Now: 14 Of The Dumbest Relationship Dealbreakers
You guys have dodged some Bullet Bill-sized bullets.
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- By Cracked Readers, Jesse
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14 History Class Derailing Trivia Tidbits
Mankind invented Fart Art before comfy toilet paper.
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- By Cracked Writers, Jesse
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'Best In Show' And 12 More Blockbuster Comedies That Cost Practically Nothing
Jon Heder's payday for Napoleon Dynamite could buy, like, a mid-tier vacuum cleaner.
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- By Jesse
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Tell Us Now: 14 Novels Just Begging For A Movie Adaptation
Besides the Necronomicon, of course.
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- By Cracked Readers, Jesse
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13 Brilliant Folks Who Exploited A Loophole For Monetary Gain
Sometimes, the government literally gives away free money
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- By Jesse, Cracked Writers
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Tell Us Now: The Biggest Lies Kids Told About Their Summer Break
Sorry I didn't do my summer reading, I was kickin' it with Optimus Prime.
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- By Jesse, Cracked Readers
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14 All-Star Quotes From The Big Banana Himself, Shaq
Shaq is many things. "Humble" is not one of them.
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- By Jesse
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14 Celebrities Who Saved The Life Of A Normie
Oh, you’re “not a hero”? Sounds like something a hero would say.
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- By Jesse
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Tell Us Now: What's The Weirdest Thing You've Seen On The Road?
You can tell a lot about a person by how they pass the time in traffic.
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- By Jesse, Cracked Readers
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14 Startlingly Athletic Hollywood Actors
You expect me to believe that handsome people also have good bodies?
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- By Jesse
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13 Surprisingly Positive Consequences Of Terrible Events
Life, ah, finds a way.
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- By Jesse, Cracked Writers
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Tell Us Now: Truly Unhinged Roommate And Neighbor Behavior
If your toenail collection is your least disgusting hobby? You might be the gross roommate.
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- By Cracked Readers, Jesse
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14 Sick Burns, Stunning Admissions, And All-Star Trash Talk From Pro Athletes
This should go without saying but... don't heckle Michael Jordan
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- By Jesse
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15 Movies And TV Shows With Criminally Underrated Performances
Don't sleep on Sophia Petrillo.
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- By Cracked Readers, Jesse
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14 Embarrassing, Desperate, Or Downright Sad Celebrity Moments To Make You Cringe
Shame. Shame! S H A M E !
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- By Jesse
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14 Comically Cruel, Idiotic Advancements In Military And Law Enforcement Technology
From bikes to gloves to farts, scientists can truly weaponize anything.
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- By Jesse, Cracked Writers
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Tell Us Now: 15 Brilliant Loopholes People Learned To Exploit
Rules are made to be pedantically skirted.
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- By Jesse, Cracked Readers
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14 Famous Actors Who Have Straight-Up Saved A Life
Say what you will about Clint Eastwood, but the guy once hugged a man back to life.
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- By Jesse, Cracked Writers
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14 Hapless Individuals Who Got Screwed (For The Crime Of Being Nice)
Lesson learned: never do anything nice.
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- By Jesse, Cracked Writers
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14 All-Time Brilliant (Or Evil) Legal Loopholes
"There's no crime against digging a hole."
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- By Jesse, Cracked Writers
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