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Soren Bowie

Soren is an American of some importance. He has amassed great wealth which is now in jeopardy. He is in need of persons with whom his family has no relationship. He seeks your cooperation and assistance in the transfer of 8,000,000.00 to your private bank account in Nigeria. To show his appreciation he will offer you 15% of the total sum including 20% of interest earned. Please treat this issue confidentially. Please send him your bank account number as well as a color photocopy of a Nigerian passport so he is certain you are a real resident. He waits to hear from you.

My Attempt to Create a Fat Bratz Doll: A Real Email Exchange

I want to suggest adding a fifth character, Deb. Only moderately obese, she is an aspiring chef! Great, right? That's yours to use, no charge. She's just a kid and she's learning! That reminds me, you can give her down syndrome instead if you're looking for ways to justify the enormous head.

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Infiltrating the Green Movement: Undercover on the Bandwagon

Fortunately, environmentalism is a double-headed monster and I'm allowed to choose which head I follow: one is the true conservationist which we all must tolerate, and the other is the affluent and bored elitist in need of a conspicuously righteous hobby. The latter is more my speed.

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7 Celebrity Movie Deaths We Enjoyed Way Too Much

The success of magazines like People, Star and Us Weekly isn't predicated on how interested humanity is in Blake Lively's new dress, the issues sell because dental patients and grocery shoppers want to see if Blake Lively has caught on fire yet.

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Using Charity to Help The Third World (Worship You as a God)

I am a giver by nature. Deeply rooted in my blood is the philanthropic need to ease the suffering of others, to strip away the tattered robes of misery and lick the wounds of the browbeaten, figuratively. 'Gross' you will think, and I don't blame you because your heart is not as big as mine.

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Experimenting With Witchcraft And Christine O'Donnell

It was nearly the end of summer break, swim team season had come to a close and Christie and I didn't have summer jobs because all the poor kids took them. We burned the long afternoons under oak trees talking about our futures and which colleges we might like to pretend to graduate from once we were adults.

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If Columbus Had Explored The Internet

For the past few weeks I have journeyed through the Internet and documented my travels with such humbling clarity and insightful insight that it will stand as proof of my abilities. My only hope is that some years in the future-when comment sections are finally blessed with civility and literacy I am remembered with some commemorative statue.

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The 6 Most Baffling Search Queries About Relationships

Despite old adages, love is not permanent. It is an amorphous blob of passion that transforms endlessly, appearing one minute as a flickering light of purpose toward which you struggle, and the next as a quiet hatred sitting in the passenger seat of your car, shaking its head because you forgot to shave.

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How to Act: A Guide for the Untalented

For each of us willing to nurture these skills and pursue the passion wholeheartedly, success waits with open arms. For anyone who thinks that sounds like a lot of work, there is acting.

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6 Tips for Photography (At Your Ex-Girlfriend's Wedding)

So you want to be a wedding photographer! Fantastic. Whether you\'re looking to start a career or you just need to know enough to convince an ex-girlfriend you\'re the type of professional she should hire, even though she specifically asked you not to attend her wedding three weeks ago in a private message on Facebook.

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5 People Who Bragged About Awful Crimes Via 'Art'

A timeline of five wealthy or renowned people throughout history so far removed from responsibility that they were able to commit horrible crimes and then earn more wealth and renown by unapologetically bragging about them.

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