Robert Brockway
Robert Brockway is a former senior editor and columnist for Cracked.com. He is the author of the post-apocalyptic horror epic Carrier Wave, the cyberpunk novel Rx: A Tale of Electronegativity, the comedic non-fiction essay collection Everything is Going to Kill Everybody, and The Vicious Circuit, a punk rock urban fantasy series from Tor Books. He lives in Tucson, Arizona with his wife Meagan and their three dogs, Detective Martin Riggs, Detective Roger Murtaugh, and Penny (she did not make the force). Find more information about his work on his own site, http://www.robertbrockway.net.
5 True Stories Behind the Most Badass Photographs Ever Taken
Occasionally, photography is used to capture the exact second that mankind reached into its giant bag of fucks to give and found it completely empty.
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- By Robert Brockway
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5 Things You Learn From a Lifetime of Screwing Up
I offer this not to help you be a better person, but to help you be a safer, more efficient, and beyond all, more hilarious screwer of ups.
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- By Robert Brockway
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The 21 Infuriating Steps to Completing Any DIY Project
From gratification to medication, I like to do things myself. However, I need a lot of help in my DIY projects.
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- By Robert Brockway
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The Truth About Guns and Video Games
When it comes time to tackle tough issues in the wake of unimaginable tragedies, politicians are at just as much of a loss as we are. But it's their job to act, so they start throwing wild swings, hoping they're going to hit the right target but too scared to open their eyes to see where the punches land.
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- By Robert Brockway
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The 6 Most Insane Covers in the History of Old Magazines
You're probably just going to have to trust me that these are all real, unless you want to type 'action for men' into your browser and learn all about the best ways to get plowed by a trucker in the bathroom of a Red Robin.
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- By Robert Brockway
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I Was a Teenage Vigilante: An Unfortunately True Story
At the age of 13, I was arrested for armed robbery. It wasn't a case of mistaken identity. But I wasn't worried; I knew I was innocent.
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- By Robert Brockway
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3 Reasons You Shouldn't Play the Best Video Game of the Year
If you can't figure out a way to have a hell of a lot of fun with a bottle of whiskey and a python, then some measly video game certainly isn't going to fix the giant black hole in your soul.
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- By Robert Brockway
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5 Products That Improve the Love Lives of Creepy Sociopaths
The Internet is full of product reviews, but if you're anything like me, you've found them lacking something: rampant, selfish idiocy. I propose to fix that by telling you not only about all of these exciting new products, but also how to recklessly abuse them.
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- By Robert Brockway
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4 Ways to Tell If You're Creepy (Using the Internet)
This game is simple: Take any online service that you use frequently -- suggested products, custom ad services, mail filters, bank accounts, whatever -- and mentally subtract the context that only you would know. What would a total stranger, looking at those same results, assume about the person they're based on?
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- By Robert Brockway
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The 6 Luckiest Near-Death Experiences Ever Caught on Camera
To those of you who did absolutely nothing to save yourselves, but are simply too smiled upon by the universe to be pulped by a garbage truck, we salute you.
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- By Robert Brockway
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8 Insane Vehicles You Won't Believe Are Street Legal
As long as there are wheels to spin and jet engines to slap on things that should not have jet engines, mankind's irrepressible need to go ungodly speeds while looking completely ludicrous shall not be sated.
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- By Robert Brockway, Matt Machmuller
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The 7 Types of Halloween Costume and What They Say About You
Before you go hit on that Sexy Naruto or whatever, maybe consult this handy list first and see if it's worth the trouble.
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- By Robert Brockway
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The 8 Creepiest Places on Earth (Part 4)
There are some places you can take one look at and be certain -- just from a process of pure and logical deduction -- that they're home to terrible monsters.
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- By Robert Brockway, Cezary Jan Strusiewicz, Andy Keher
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6 Things Every Sucker Should Know Before Buying a Used Car
I have bought and destroyed more cars than is technically allowable by the United States Government, and am therefore legally obligated to actually try to help you in this column.
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- By Robert Brockway
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5 Awful Things You Learn About Yourself Playing 'Dishonored'
I just picked up Dishonored, the new stealth game from the people who brought us Skyrim, and already I'm learning things about myself. Awful, terrible, disappointing things that I wish I could forget but will probably haunt me forever.
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- By Robert Brockway
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12 Dangerously Irresponsible Steps to Building Your Own PC
Building a computer? If you're anything like me, this is not going to go very well for you.
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- By Robert Brockway
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5 Ways 'Borderlands 2' Is a Remorseless Addiction Machine
For the most part, when we refer to a game's 'addictiveness,' we mean it as a positive thing. Of course, the definition becomes blurred when Borderland 2 enters the picture.
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- By Robert Brockway
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5 Badass Photos of People Walking Through Insane Situations
All were saying is that these guys' every step inspires no less than six bitchin' guitar solos and one training montage wherein a starry-eyed young lad learns karate.
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- By Robert Brockway
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12 Interchangeable Celebrities You Probably Get Confused
Hollywood has a clone factory, and occasionally they screw up and let multiple clones out at the same time.
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- By Robert Brockway
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5 Videos of Superhuman Reflexes That Saved Lives
These people saw Death charging at them a mile away and merrily cartwheeled out of their own mortality.
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- By Robert Brockway
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