This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
We don't mean to be a downer, but the entire world will be dead soon, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Even if we solve global warming, the sun is sure to be sucked into a roaming black hole or explode any day now. And in the odd chance that doesn't happen, world-destroying aliens are probably a thing. So you only have a limited amount of time to go see the world and soak up all its glory. That's what this Cracked Travel Kit is for. Starting with ...
This amazing email/app subscription simply asks that you supply them with five departure regions before it starts hitting you with all the best travel deals you can fathom. Your dream vacation is right around the corner, just waiting for you to live it / eat it / sleep it, and Dollar Flight Club can help by getting you up to 90% off normal travel prices.
Mondly is a state-of-the-art language learning service that uses machine learning to help you become fluent in your chosen language. We're talking AI that can actually tell if you're speaking the language correctly or not, which is basically like having a less annoying C-3PO as your personal teacher.
Nothing ruins music like the scream of sirens, angry leopards, or airplane engines (depending on whether you live in the city, the jungle, or on an airplane). These active noise-cancelling Bluetooth headphones can keep the world quiet no matter where you're standing, and can conveniently connect to your favorite device via Bluetooth or a 3.5mm jack.
Your batteries will not survive your adventures if you're adventuring correctly. That's why you need a portable battery pack. The ChargeMe comes with 30,000 mAh of power and dual 2.4A USB outputs, keeping all your devices (or at least two of them) jacked up for as long as you need.
The only thing that hurts a TV's portability is the size of its screen, which is why it's so cool that this device removes the need for a screen entirely. Throw native 1080p HD and UHD 3K footage on a big, bright 130" HD projection screen anywhere you want for up to two hours without a charge with this refurbished smart projector.
You know how you don't always know the language when you travel to a new country? Electricity is the same way. Some outlets speak a different electricity language than your MacBook's charger. Luckily, this adapter is an interpreter of buzz, compatible with both 110 and 220VAC, and includes two built-in USB ports.
The Omni-Travel Bundle comes pre-packed with a pillow, sleep mask, and toothbrush, ensuring the fundamentals of long-distance travel are taken care of before you even get to the important part (like which Fast & Furious movie you want to watch on the flight).
Traveling isn't just the act of moving from one place to another; there are all kinds of extra work that nobody talks about, like Mastering Airbnb, flying for cheap, and starting a business abroad. These classes, available in a special pay-what-you-want bundle, make all the hard stuff easy, so you can enjoy the part where you're sitting on a beach, sucking down cocktails and watching the sunset.
This special bundle will teach you how to speak any language you want with a flexible and unique learning path tailored to your specific needs. It features loads of travel guides from Lonely Planet, and subscriptions to premium language learning via Transparent Language, ensuring you cross your t's, dot your i's, and schwa your schwas.
Get ready to sleep soundly, because these are among the most comfortable headphones possible. They use an advanced design of silicon uni-body that adapts to the unique contours of your inner ear. It'll then pump in music from a full-range micro-drive that delivers neutral, comfortable sound, perfect for everything from easy listening to sleep-inducing noise.
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.