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28 Seemingly Common Things That Only Happen in TV and Movies

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

July 27, 2023

28 Seemingly Common Things That Only Happen in TV and Movies

Movies and television bring fantastic worlds of fantasy to the screen. Luke Skywalker looks up at the twin suns of Tatooine and dreams of having space adventures. Spider-Man whips between the buildings of New York City, torn between his responsibility of his amazing powers and his fracturing person life. Neo learns the truth about the world around him, and rages against the literal machine with cool kung-fu moves that were downloaded into his brain through a freaky port on the back of his neck.

But here’s the thing: Your run-of-the-mill “realistic” dramatic fare is often just as ridiculous as those flights of fancy. How are people turning their TVs on at exactly the moment when the local news is moving the plot forward? Why does everyone just hang up the phone? And why are busy ER doctors spending any time relating their patients on any sort of personal level?

Movies and TV, it turns out, are pretty silly.

28 Talking in Your Sleep

When characters talk in their sleep, it's not only perfectly elocuted, but also plot relevant. Harry Potter and the Friends Half-Blood Prince That '70s Show Empire And, of course, whoever needs to hear it is there. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

27 Teachers Hanging Out With Students

Good Morning, The Simpsons Miss Bliss MINIST Buffy Boy Meets World The Vampire Slayer IN THE WORLD OF TELEVISION, NO ONE BATS AN EYE AT A TEACHER GOING OVER TO THEIR STUDENTS' HOUSES, HAVING THEM OVER AT THEIRS, OR EVEN GOING TO THE MOVIES WITH THEM. CRACKED COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

26 Head Wounds

Only in the movies can you take a bullet in the brain and keep going as usual. TRUE ROMANCE MACHETE GRACKED COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

25 Adults Having Friends

CRACKED.COM THE OF KING HILL RE CYCLE FAMiLY GUY IT'S ONLY ON TV THAT A GROUP OF FRIENDS CAN FIND HOUSES THAT: ARE NEXT TO EACH OTHER FOR SALE AT THE SAME TIME •FARFORDABLE ALLOWING THEM TO GET INTO HIJINKS TOGETHER FOREVER. — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

24 Drinking Liquor

CRACKED.COM Bad Santa (2003) Trailer Park Boys (2001-18) Onlyin movies and tv shows you can drink hard liquor freely without flinching, throwing up or dying from alcohol poisoning. Animal House (1978) Thor: Ragnarok (2017) — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

23 Blood on Your Face

THE PUNISHER SEASON 2 Some characters walk around in public with face full of blood. JOHN WICK CHAPTER:2 MTC - TRADING And yet - I people are so cool about it. CRACKED COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

22 Kids Actually Behaving

WELL BEHAVED KIDS to de You OMES TO CRACKED.COM We loved Maid on Netflix, but at one point, three year old Maddy has a double ear infection and sits silently at the doctors like she's on animal tranquilizers. We don't want to listen to a kid cry for an hour but if the intent is to make a realistic drama of the life of a single mom with $5 to her name, make the kid act like a real kid. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

21 Very Personal Doctors

DOCTORS GETTING WAY TOO PERSONAL CRACKED COM Doctors are busy, they need to see you and 100 other people during their sleepless, 48 hour shifts. There is no reality where doctors get into their personal lives with you, or get involved with yours beyond the immediate thing that they need to stop from bleeding. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

20 Modern Beauty in Period Pieces

MODERN DAY BEAUTY AND GROOMING STANDARDS IN PERIOD PIECES CRACKED.COM Unless they are supposed to be a fantasy race of humanoid like a Hobbit, hair simply does not exist below the eyebrows on women in film. We can believe in dragons and magic, but don't model your story after Dark Ages Europe if every peasant woman is going to look like they have a Maxim shoot later. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

19 Everyone Actually Agreeing on Anything

THE WORLD COMING TOGETHER TO DEFEAT A COMMON ENEMY CRACKED.COM Fiction will have us believe that the countries of the world, and the people of varying political ideologies in them, would cooperate if their survival depended on it. Take everything that's happened in the last 6 years and ask yourself, is this realistic? — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

18 Very Relevant Television

TURNING ON THE TV JUST IN TIME TO SEE A RELEVANT THING BRIAN FAKLER @BrianFakierBBC DOC WORLD NEWS BREAKING NEWS the Western US human burned more than 1 CRACKED.COM We don't know a single person under our parent's age that still has cable, let alone already set to the News. And yet, still in this day and age, a movie character will tell their friend to turn on the TV, and right as they do so there is Chad Newsman just beginning to announce a revelation that will rock the protagonist's world. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

17 Telling Off Your Boss

CRACKED COM American Beauty Office Space Fight Club Getting the best of your boss is no problem in movies. Just lay out the truth of how absurd the workplace is, or just threaten to make wildly unprovable accusations. Boom! Bosses OWNED! — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

16 Snowballs

Elf Beauty and the Beast Snowballs are always perfectly round and never melt. The Office GRAGKED.COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

15 Nerds Having Their Day

BACK THE TO FUTURE VS In movies, if a nerd gets the best of their bully a single time, all the years of abuse abruptly come to an end and the nerd never gets bullied again. A CHRISTMAS STORI VS CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

14 Cat & Mouse

Playing cat and mouse? Marvel's Iron Fist You will always stumble into random Spectre (2015) parades or festivals that allow you to blend in SAW IV (2007) PIG with the crowd. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

13 A Single Light Source

CRACKED.COM Apparently, NATIONAL TREASURE a single light source GAME OF THRONES can fully illuminate the surroundings. DIE HARD — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

12 Perfectly Safe in Crossfire

JACK REACHER NEVER GO BACK Hundreds of enemies with shooting at you? POLICE NO PROBLEM. JOHN WICK Just duck and move around anywhere. There is a 100% chance that you'll survive. CRACKED.COM — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

11 Perfect Make-Up

GRACKED.OOM Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) It doesn't matter if you've been stranded in one place for years without any cosmetics: in movies, your makeup still looks perfect. Aquaman (2018) — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

10 Burying the Dead

GRACKED COM Logan StepBrothers O Brother, Where Art Thou When burying someone (or something) characters can dig large holes with only a shovel. No need to worry about dirt, rocks, or hard clay — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

9 Fully Dressed Lady Toons

CRACKED.OOM When you're a toon... Daffy & Tina Bugs & Lola Girls are fully dressed... Porky & Petunia Rescue Rangers Boys don't even need pants. — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

8 Forced Kisses

CRACKED.COM Goldfinger Forced kiss. Romantic in movies, a sexual assault charge in real life. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade — Source: 26 BS Things That Only Work In TV & Movie Universes

7 Teenage Parties

TEENAGERS PARTYING LIKE A TOURING HAIR METAL BAND CRACKED.COM TV shows love to tell adult stories using teens because the high school setting forces a bunch of young people together with the only thing they have in common being their zip code. Sure, teens like to get up to some pretty wild stuff, but drug use in high school looks less like wild coke parties and more like sharing a joint behind the dumpsters at Taco Bell. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

6 Bakeries

OPENING UP A BAKERY CRACKED.COM What is it with millennials and the idea of professionally decorating cupcakes? Bakeries seem to exist in this space between a leisure activity and actual work, with most depictions on screen consisting of putting cookies in ovens while dancing and conveniently leave out zoning laws, permits, and supply chain issues. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

5 Hallucinations

AUDITORY AND VISUAL HALLUCINATIONS CRACKED.COM Entire character arcs will revolve around someone being haunted by visions of a dead loved one, all to just cleanly wrap up with some expositional catharsis. Not being able to differentiate between what is real and what isn't calls for lots of therapy, and drugs. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

4 Being Knocked Unconscious

BEING KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS CRACKED COM People in TV and film have absolutely no fluid on their brains if they are able to be struck unconscious with the easiest of taps. To make matters more unrealistic, they then wake up hours later with a mild headache and go back about their day like they didn't just suffer head trauma. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

3 Police Actually Catching Criminals

POLICE CATCHING CRIMINALS CRACKED.COM TV shows like Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Rookie, and every Law & Order perpetuate the copoganda that cops really want to clean up the streets and no crime is too small to give their undivided time and attention. In the real world, if you call the cops after your car is stolen, they'll tell you to take the bus. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

2 Them Abs

BODY-BUILDER PHYSIQUE CRACKED.COM The amount of supplements, protein, and exercise needed to maintain the ridiculous proportions of any on-screen male under 50 is a full time job, and yet these beefcakes are never seen working out or eating grilled chicken and rice every two hours. We all want our on-screen hunks to be ripped, but at least have them complain about taking HGH tablets. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

1 Overpowering Your Drunkness

WILLING ONESELF OUT OF INEBRIATION CRACKED.COM A character will be black out drunk in one scene, rambling incoherently and bumping into walls until they pass out in the middle of the floor, only to wake up 3 hours later lucid enough to wonder what happened and how that baguette ended up in their pants. Forget just being hung over, this person would likely still be drunk, but they start walking around like the vodka just worked itself out of their bloodstream. — Source: 13 Things Movies And TV Want You To Believe Are Way More Common Than They Are

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