I have been asked to tell you the legend of the sword that has been lost. This is my attempt to do so. My own knowledge of the legend comes from stories told in the taverns by men who were there and who have since gone to the afterlife. It is not an official history, but it will be as close to the truth as can be known. I hope you enjoy this story.

My name is Kjelleren. My people are farmers in the north, on the coast, near the mountains. I live with my wife, my daughter, and our son on a farm that is owned by my family for generations.

My wife's name is Sigrun, though she goes by her nickname of Sigrin, which means 'sun' in a language that no longer exists.

Our greatest heirloom is a strange tablet with a list of fifteen incomprehensible entries in a strange language nobody has been able to decipher. Word for word, the list goes ...

Robots will help Jack in the Box employees spend more time with customers. Yay?

Jack in the Box is going to experiment with burger-flipping robots. GRACKED.COM The company is launching a pilot program that will test Miso Robotics' Flippy 2 and Sippy robots to see how much help the automatons can offer busy staff who may want to spend more time with customers.

Engadget 

The US Army is finally answering for its worst war crime: stealing a birthday cake.

The US Army returned a cake stolen off a windowsill from an Italian girl in 1945. CRACKED.COM 90-year-old Meri Mion says the cake was made for her birthday by her mother, and snatched while it cooled in the window like in a Tex Avery cartoon.

BBC 

A senate candidate gave a speech in the throes of labor pains.

A Minnesota state senate candidate gave a speech while in labor, pausing for contractions. RFORM THE RUS FORTH OS POWERS BUILD UP ITS CRACKED.COM The moment, filmed by people in the crowd, has inspired some observers who see it as an example of the strength women need to overcome the unique challenges they face in their careers.

Fox 9 

A man that desperately needs a hug can no longer talk to his hologram wife.

A man who married a hologram is no longer able to communicate with her thanks to abandoned tech. GRACKED.COM Labeled as a fictosexual, the Japanese man married a hologram of fictional idol Hatsune Miku, but now the $1,300 device that projected her into a cylinder no longer exists.

Yahoo 

Millions of bees died when their shipment was rerouted.

Millions of bees bound for Alaska were rerouted to Atlanta, and died. CRACKED.COM The 200 crates of bees were the first of two shipments coming in from Sacramento designated to provide much needed pollination services for apple orchards and nurseries.

NY Times 

A British MP is resigning for watching porn in Parliament.

Neil Parish is resigning as an MP after admitting he watched pornography twice in Parliament. CRACKED.COM Не said the first time was accidental after looking at a tractor website, but the second time - in the House of Commons - was deliberate.

BBC 

The police are citing school children for vaping and putting them into the legal system.

Local police in Illinois are issuing thousands of tickets a year to school children. 1 FANTASIA GRACKED.COM Illinois law bans schools from fining students, so the police are issuing tickets for truancy, vaping, fights and other misconduct. Children are then thrown into a legal system designed for adults.

ProPublica 

Couple steals Lego sets, forgets they have a bomb in their backseat.

Police found a bomb in a car they stopped for stealing three Lego sets fom Walmart. - CRACKED.COM The officer stopped the vehicle and saw the Lego sets in the backseat along with what appeared to be an explosive device.

Tulsa World 

A pile of human bones was just part of ritual sacrifice, nothing to see here.

Human skulls found at a crime scene in Mexico turned out to be 1,100 year old sacrificial remains. CRACKED.COM Police in Guatemala found a pile of 150 skulls in a cave, and a decade of tests and analysis determined the skulls were from sacrificial victims killed between AD 900 and 1200.

The Guardian 

Bears found the crawl space under one home not too stiff, not too soft, but just right.

A family discovered the odd snoring noises they kept hearing were hibernating bears under their home. CRACKED.COM When the bears a mother and four young bears around a year old woke up, the human residents of the home could no longer deny there was probably a bear under the house.

Huffington Post 

Police in LA ignored crimes to catch Pokemon.

LAPD officers were fired for ignoring a robbery in progress to catch a Snorlax in Pokemon Go. PoKeMoN TM GRAGKED.COM According to court documents, one of the officers alerted his partner that a Snorlax just popped up and for 20 minutes, the two discussed Pokemon while they drove to different locations to hunt the creatures on their phones.

Dexerto 

A panel of all white hosts led to a Juneteenth festival being canceled.

A Juneteenth soul food festival in Arkansas was canceled when the panel of hosts was revealed to all be white. CRACKED.COM Juneteenth commemorates the emancipation of enslaved people in the U.S., and the lack of Black voices in the festival has been seen as erasure.

Salon 

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