15 Facts About Star Wars, Dracula, And An Ocean Ray Murder-Suicide

I had just found out that I'd come into a sizable inheritance, when a friend of mine came up and said he was going out for a drive. He asked me if I would join him. As I was not busy at the time we set off together — but soon after leaving my house my friend suddenly stopped the buggy and got down on his knees and began kissing me all over my body. After he was done with me, he went back and picked up the reins and kept driving as if nothing had happened.
I did not think it polite to ask him what had occurred. I was very upset about the whole thing and thought I should never feel quite easy in my mind again — that is, until I came across something amazing in this little book of poems called "The Black Cat" that completely took my mind off the matter. It was a list of fifteen facts, and it went like this:
8-year-old names himself and then gets a PhD.

Laughter is not always the best medicine.

So many people brew tea at the same time in the UK that a mountainside power station had to be built.

The Rhone River was blessed so people could chuck dead people into it.

ZZ Top had a show with animals go very wrong.

The Spotted Eagle Ray

Edison was such a dick he inadvertently created Hollywood.

You can use mayo to remove tar on burn victims.

The Allies released racoons in Germany during WWII by accident.

Don’t drink and drive the Starship Enterprise.

WWII pilots cooled off soda bottles on the outside of their planes.

Peter Cushing

Cayenne pepper was used instead of fake blood in “Indiana Jones.”

A snail-eating snake was given a name to send a message.

Vlad The Impaler lived up to his name.
