15 Utterly Unhinged Attempts To Reinvent Iconic Franchises

We were not ready for a yoked-up Scooby Doo.

Authors: By JhallComics, Andrea Meno
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 8

The 15 Least Punk Rock Moments from Allegedly Legendary Punk Rockers

Nothing says punk like credit cards and butter commercials.

Authors: By Andres Diplotti, Jay L'Ecuyer
Published: February 06, 2023
Comments: 1

3 Small, Random Decisions That Shaped America in Insane Ways

Lincoln did some good things, but he’s also the reason we can’t ride elephants

Authors: By Eli Yudin
Published: February 06, 2023
Comments: 0

Creating ‘Bob’s Burgers’ Linda Belcher: How John Roberts Became the Funniest Mom on TV

Long before she was the matriarch of the beloved Fox sitcom, she was the hilarious materfamilias of Roberts’ own family

Authors: By Brian VanHooker
Published: February 06, 2023
Comments: 0

Your Face Is Faker Than a Deepfake

New research indicates that we’re much more apt to perceive deepfakes as real than actual living, breathing human beings

Authors: By Lauren Vinopal
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 3

32 Terrifying Animals That Could Star In Their Own Horror Movies

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

December 01, 2021

32 Terrifying Animals That Could Star In Their Own Horror Movies

It's been awhile since we've had a truly great creature feature, and if it's because Hollywood is running out of ideas for terrifying animals… We have a couple of suggestions that may keep you up at night. Go nuts, screenwriters.

32

THE GOLIATH FROG IS THE SIZE OF A HOUSE CAT. These bad boys can jump 10 feet. They eat rodents, bats, and other frogs. CRACKED.COM http://animals sandiegozoo.org/animals/goliath-frog — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

31

THE WELS GATFISH CAN GROW TO 12 FEET LONG. CATPUSER They have voracious appetites, and have been known to gobble up birds out of the air. CRACKED.COM http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fisherman-lands-19-stone-catfish-5215760 — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

30

THE MEGALARA GARUDA IS THE KING OF WASPS. Scientists call it that because it's over 2 inches long, venomous, and has jaws that can wrap around its own head. http://news nationalgeographic com/news/2012/03/120327- CRACKED.COM new-species-wasps-king-bugs-indonesia-animals-science/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

29

THE SEA PIG JUST WANTS TO EAT DIRT. It's a variety of sea cucumber, and spends its time gulping up mud in the deeper parts of the ocean. CRACKED.COM https://www.wired.com/2015/04/absurd-creature-of-the-week-sea-pig/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

28

THE GIRAFFE WEEVIL CAN CRANE ITS NECK. They live in Madagascar, and that long neck helps the males to fight off rivals and build nests. CRACKED.COM http//astronomy-to-zoology tumblr.com/post/ 39388964706/giraffe-weevil-trachelophorus-giraffa-is-a — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

27

THE AYE-AYE HAS EXTRA-LONG FINGERS. They live in trees in Madagascar, and use those long digits to dig for grubs. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

26

AN OCTOPUS'S ARMS CAN MAKE DECISIONS WITHOUT ITS BRAIN. The arms (yes, arms, not tentacles) can coordinate together without the brain even knowing. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

25

PENGUIN POOP IS INTOXICATING. King penguin poop releases so much laughing gas that scientists who study it get go cuckoo. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

24

KILLER WHALES ARE ATTACKING BOATS ON PURPOSE. The recent, unusual attacks are orchestrated. It might be because humans are a stressing the animals out. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

23

CROWS HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE... AND PASS THEM ON. American crows remember faces of people who hurt them, and get other crows to attack the offenders. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

22

ANTS PASS THE SELF-RECOGNITION MIRROR TEST Only the smartest animals (dolphins, apes, elephants) can pass the test... as well as some species of ants. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

21

HONEYBEES CAN RECOGNIZE HUMAN FACES Also, wasps can facially recognize one another. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

20

THE BARRELEYE FISH HAS A TRANSPARENT SKULL. The green globs visible through its skull are actually eyeballs, gazing upward. CRACKED.COM http://www.ourbreathingplanet.com/barreleye-fish/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

19

THE WOLF TRAP ANGLERFISH HAS A BUILT-IN FISHING POLE. They're called wolf traps because their massive jaws open horizontally, not vertically. CRACKED.COM https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thaumatichthyidae — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

18

THE SHOCKING PINK DRAGON IS A MILLIPEDE. Scientists figure its bright pink color is there to warn predators about its toxicity. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

17

THE DINOCHELUS AUSUBELI HAS ONE SAW-CLAW. Dinochelus literally (and aptly) means terrible claw. They're blind, and use that elongated claw to catch and slice up prey. CRACKED.COM https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/02/110205204840.htm — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

16

THE YETI CRAB IS CRAWLING WITH BACTERIA. Scientists think the yeti crab cultivates and grows bacteria, which lives in its arm hair, to eat. CRACKED.COM http://www.mbari.org/discovery-of-yeti-crab/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

15

THE SQUID WORM IS PERFECTLY NAMED. It's a worm with a head that looks like a squid. Those tentacles are used for breathing and grabbing stuff. hhttp://news.nationalgeographic.com/s/2010/11/101124 CRACKED.COM squid-worm-new-species-science-teuthidodrilus-biolagy/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

14

NAKED MOLE-RATS KIDNAP OTHER MOLE-RAT'S BABIES AND USE THEM AS SLAVES. Naked mole-rats invade neighbooring colonies to take un-weaned pups to use in their colony's workforce. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

13

ZEBRAFISH CAN FULLY REGENERATE A LOST APPENDAGE They can regrow a fin with the exact same markings, as well as a spinal cord, retina, heart, and kidney. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

12

OGRE-FACED SPIDERS CAN HEAR WITH THEIR LEGS When they hear their airborne prey, they backflip to strike and bag their victims in a web. You gotta bad for anything that dies looking into these eyes. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

11

BATS CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE Well, the future movement of its prey. The bat can anticipate when and where its food will be, using more than direct echolocation information. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

10

AN AFRICAN CRESTED RAT'S FUR IS SO POISONOUS IT COULD TAKE DOWN AN ELEPHANT These rabbit-sized puffballs chew poisonous trees' bark and lick the toxins into their fur. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

9

ASIAN KUKRI SNAKES EAT TOADS FROM THE INSIDE OUT WHILE THEY'RE STILL ALIVE The snake will slit open a toad and eat its organs, leaving the remaining body untouched. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

8

THE DIABOLICAL IRONCLAD BEETLE CAN WITHSTAND BEING RUN OVER BY A CAR. The beetle's exoskeleton is one of the strongest materials in the natural world. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

7

ANTS DRINK THEIR OWN BUTT ACID. The formic acid in their butts serves as a multi-purpose fluid, as a chemical disinfectant and a weapon against predators. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Animals That Terrify Us (For Valid Reasons)

6

THE DARWIN'S BARK SPIDER SPINS 80-FOOT WEBS. It spins its webs across rivers like a fishing net, and scientists speculate that a Darwin's bark spiderweb is strong enough to catch a bird. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/09/photogalleries/100917-darwins- CRACKED.COM bark-spider-new-species-spider-webs-madagascar-science-pictures-strongest/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

5

THE WOLF FISH WILL JUMP ONTO YOUR BOAT. They can weigh more than 80 pounds and have been known to jump onto land or into canoes, trying to catch prey. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

4

THE FISHING SPIDER DOESN'T NEED A WEB. It plucks its prey out of the water, often while balancing on the water's surface. Lately they've begun branching out, as one was recently spotted trying to kill a bat. CRACKED.COM https://www.wired.com/2013/03/bat-eating-spiders/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

3

THE PARALYSIS TICK WILL IMMOBILIZE YOU. They're native to Australia, and the female dispenses a paralyzing toxin through her barbed hypostome. CRACKED.COM http://www. health gov au/internet/main/publishing nsf/Content/ohp-tick-bite-prevention.htm — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

2

THE CARPET SHARK SWALLOWS OTHER SHARKS WHOLE. It got its name because it lies around on the ocean floor looking like a throw rug until it strikes. CRACKED COM http //news nationalgeographic @com/news/2012/02/pictures/120213- sharks-swallows-whole-grearbamer-reet-animals-science/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

1

THE 3-SPOT MOTH CATERPILLAR USES HEADS AS WEAPONS. When it molts, it keeps its old heads and wears them as mock-dingleberries to gross out predators. If that doesn't work, it'll use the heads to bash its attacker. CRACKED.COM https://featuredcreature.com/meet-the-ugly-caterpillar-that-uses-old -dead-heads-as-weapons-and-cant-tell-its-butt-from-its-head/ — Source: 25 Animals IRL That Will Haunt Your Dreams

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Your Jokes Give Away Your Relationship Issues

You’re not laughing, you’re actually crying for help

Authors: By Lauren Vinopal
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 2

The Surrealist Marx Brothers/Salvador Dali Comedy That Never Was

It was called ‘Giraffes on Horseback Salad’ and even Charlie Kaufman would have found it unconventional

Authors: By JM McNab
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 1

The Most Unhinged ‘New Girl’ Guest Stars

Many of them were somehow even more unhinged than the show’s main and recurring characters

Authors: By Zanandi Botes
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 2

15 Trivia Tidbits About Sting, The Fyre Fest Guy, And Criminal Fish

Microsoft is trying to make gamers fight climate change with their Xbox, apparently.

Authors: By Andres Diplotti, Andrea Meno
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 10

‘Saturday Night Live’ Turns Mario Kart Into ‘Last of Us’ Hellscape

Your favorite wacky racers, reimagined as complex, dramatic HBO characters

Authors: By Matt Solomon
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 3

Underrated Comedies You Definitely Should Be Watching

Need a laugh? Hate human interaction and reading books? We got a solution

Authors: By JM McNab
Published: February 05, 2023
Comments: 5