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34 Historical Comparisons As Twisty As a Doctor Who Episode

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

September 01, 2021

34 Historical Comparisons As Twisty As a Doctor Who Episode

Have you ever actually taken a moment to contemplate the passage of time? It's a real brain bender. Like, nosebleed-inducing (although that might be because it's drafty in our apartments, jury's still out). Benjamin Franklin first proposed Daylight Saving Time in 1784 to save on candle consumption (also presumably because he had future-seeing powers and wanted to force everyone to remember how their microwaves work), and that's not even crazy enough to make our list.

From lengthy processes like evolution, to seemingly rapid-paced things like technological developments, comparing any given two moments in time is wild. Certain elements of “the past” are far less “past” than we might think of them. The Marvel Cinematic Universe might be diving headlong into time travel and the multiverse, but honestly? Ant-Man getting stuck in the quantum realm or multiple Spiders-Man existing on screen is easier to digest than some of these.

Oh, and just wait until you find out about Chuck Norris and the nation of Israel…

34

If the length of time dinosaurs were on the planet (around 160 million years) were represented by a trip from Los Angeles to New York (2,789 miles).... в United States A Gulf of California Gulf of Palmdale 247 Victorville Santa Apple Valley Ojai tecito Clarita Santa Paula Hesperia a North Valley ra Ventura Simi Valley. 215 Van S Bonita Oxnard South Valley A San Ontario Los A eles Bernardino Whittier South Los Riverside Moreno Leo Carrillo Angeles F State Park Fullerton Valley 10 Sp Anaheim Long Beach Hemet Sun City San Pedro Irvine 15 Palm Minnion Then the length of — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

33

The shortest estimation for the lifespan of the universe is 33*(10^9) years, in a Big Rip scenario. The longest estimation is 10^(10^120) years, in a Heat Death scenario without proton decay. Just to give you an idea of how long that is... The Universe is 13.7 billion years old. Represent that time with a second... ...and take 13.7 billion years in that scale. Now represent THAT with a second... ...and take 13.7 billion years in THAT scale. Repeat this process a trillion times... ..and take 13.7 billion years in the final scale. You're still way closer to the Big Bang — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

32

34 Historical Comparisons As Twisty As a Doctor Who Episode — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

31

GRACKED.COM ENIAC VS iPad It would take almost two years for ENIAC to perform the number of operations the iPad does in one second. ENIAC: 385 operations/sec Source: http://youtu.be/PEa6CI2vfz8 iPad: 21.6 billion operations/sec — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

30

GRACKED.COM The invention of the handgun (16th century) is closer to the invention of the atomic bomb than it is to the (20th century) invention of gunpowder (9th century) — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

29

GRACKED COM Going 24/7, this is how long it would take to watch these shows: THe SUMPSONS TM Almost nine days. GUIDINGLIGHT Around sixteen months. (Both take place in a town named Springfield, by the way) — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

28

Our sun is only eighteen to twenty years old. Nx10 Eighteen to twenty galactic years. Credits Milky Way Galaxy. NGC 4414 CRACKED.COM The sun... Sonny Darkside — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

27

CRACKED.COM In 1860, it took 4 months via the Oregon trail to get from Missouri to Oregon. Jump ahead 100 years... It took 4 DAYS for Apollo 11 to get to the Moon. The MOON! http://www.octa-trails.org/learn/trail_facts.php#lengthoftrip — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

26

CHUCK NORRIS IS OLDER THAN THE MODERN NATION OF ISRAEL. ALLO an AGE: 73 AGE: 65 CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

25

CRACKED.COM 1977 Star Wars the last was released person was executed by guillotine in France — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

24

M*A*S*H WAS ON THE AIR FOR 3816 DAYS, MORE THAN THREE TIMES THE LENGTH OF THE KOREAN WAR (1128 DAYS). CERNE WARD 18210717 GRACKED COM — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

23

CRACKED.COM 1769 the first car seven years was invented before the Declaration of Independence was signed — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

22

The invention of 2000 the printing press 1900 is closer to the invention of 1400 the computer than to the invention of paper. Way closer. In the time between paper and printing, America could have been built, from Jamestown to Obama, 200 BC four times over. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

21

CRACKED.COM 2003 Crazy In the last Love by widow of a Beyoncé Civil War featuring veteran dies Jay-Z is on the top of the charts — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

20

The Coliseum in Rome is the iconic symbol of the ancient Roman Empire. Construction of this marvel of primeval architecture and engineering was begun by the emperor Vespasian in 70 AD, an astounding 1,943 years ago. That's right at the beginning of recorded history, right? The Great Pyramid of Giza, tomb of Egyptian Pharaoh Khufu, was finished around 2560 BC, 2,630 years before construction started on the Coliseum. That means the Great Pyramid was 687 years older to Vespasian than his Coliseum is to us now! CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

19

CRACKED.COM 28,000 YEARS AGO the last known estimated evidence of age of the Neanderthals oldest known existing dildo — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

18

CRACKED COM THE SHORTEST WAR BOSTON ON RECORD, THE SEOUL ANGLO-ZANZIBAR 34mi CONEYISLAND Km. de WAR, LASTED MILES SAN FRANCISCO MILES 5428 ABOUT 40 MINUTES. TOKYO 259 mi 414Km. OR, JUST LONG BURBANK 5610 ENOUGH TO WATCH MILES TWO EPISODES OF Death Valley mik 6116 M*A*S*H WITHOUT TOLEDO Biss 9412 COMMERCIALS. DECATUR M. — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

17

CRACKED.COM 1926 Marilyn Queen Elizabeth II Monroe was born was born — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

16

GRACKED.COM IMPERIUM GERMANICUN - COMPANY German Reichs - - - Internal - - 1000 750 500 Years active 250 0 First Reich (Holy Second Reich Third Reich (Nazi Roman Empire of (German Empire) Arseholes) the German Nation) Based on this progression, the fourth German Reich will last about 3 weeks. It may have already happened. — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

15

CRACKED.COM 1842 The first fax Covered machine was wagons were invented by traveling the Alexander Oregon Trail Bain — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

14

HUMANITY WASTED, PLAYING PACMAN ON GOOGLE, A TOTAL OF 4.8 MILLION HOURS, OR 548 YEARS. THAT'S LONGER THAN THE DURATION OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

13

CRACKED.COM 1878 13 years Doorknobs after the started assasination becoming of Abraham commonly used Lincoln — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

12

Homo Sapiens first showed up in the - CHEDA fossil record 400, 000 years ago I 7 I 2 S 5 M 4 A In that time, Usain Bolt, the fastest man on Earth, could have sprinted to Pluto and back 14 times. CRACKED.COM — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

11

CRACKED.COM 1913 Harriet Rosa Parks Tubman was born died — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

10

GRACKED.COM ABOUT 5235 YEARS FIRST WHEELED CART FIRST MOTORIZED CAR AROUND 3350 BC 1885 ONLY 66 YEARS FIRST MANNED FLIGHT FIRST MOON LANDING 1903 1969 — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

9

CRACKED.COM 2006 the year 124 years after the Darwin's tortoise died death of Charles Darwin — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

8

A second can be an eternity Planck Time is the shortest unit of time possible. It is the time it takes light in a vacuum to cross one Planck Length (the shortest distance possible). There are more units of Planck Time in one second then there have been seconds since The Big Bang. Seconds since Big Bang: 10 CRACKED.COM Planck Times in a second: 10 44 — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

7

CRACKED.COM 1971 the first women are email is sent granted the right to vote in Switzerland — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

6

CRACKED COM The Wright Brothers took their first flight in 1903. The B-52 bomber was first produced in 1952 and is still in service. Time between the first recorded flight and the B-52: 49 years. Total number of years we've had the B-52: 61 The B-52 has been flying for more than half the total time humans have. LA 4005 http://air-boyne.com/b-52s-60th-birthday-coming-up/ and http://airandspace.si.edu/exhibitions/wright-brothers/online/ — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

5

CRACKED.COM 1999 Morse code Eminem's stopped My Name Is being the is released international maritime standard — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

4

Cleopatra was born approximately 2,500 years after the pyramids were built - but just 2,000 years before the first moon landing. Source: CRACKED.COM http://lunarscience.nasa.gov/articles/how-long-ago-was-it/ — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

3

CRACKED.COM 5,000 years ago The The Stone still-living Age comes Great Basin to an end bristlecone pine was growing — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

2

CRACKED.COM Everything you see is from the past! We only perceive nearby objects to happen in real-time, due to the incredibly fast speed at which light travels. In fact, the further you are from an object, the further back in time you see it. For example, when you see someone waving at you as they stand 1 mile away, you are actually seeing them as they were waving approximately 0.000005368 seconds before. While if you could somehow see that same person waving at you if you were standing on NASA's space probe Voyager I, you would see them as they — Source: 23 Eyebrow-Arching Time Spans Side By Side

1

CRACKED.COM 1956 The last Tom Hanks surviving was born person to witness Abraham Lincoln's assasination dies — Source: 13 Historical Comparisons That Have Us Convinced Time Is An Illusion

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