The English language doesn't always make sense, and we at Cracked recognize that language is fluid and should be updated for better communication. So here are 15 suggestions for replacement names for common fruits and veggies. Shaved Peaches Nectarines are just peaches with a recessive gene that gets rid of its peach fuzz. It's confusing to have two names. Let's simplify this.

CRACKED.COM Orangeberry Oranges have a lot of nerve claiming an entire color. It's completely unfair to carrots. So we propose specifying what orange food you're talking about, and these fruits are technically berries so they can get in line and join the color+berry family.

CRACKED.COM Pinkfruit Grapefruits may have gotten their name because they grow in trees in cluster,, visually sort of similar to grapes on a vine. However, grapefruit is an obectively bad nam: grapes are already a fruit (berry, actually). Grapefruits are also berries, but Pink Berry is unfortunately trademarked.

CRACKED.CO Broclfflower Cauliflower and broccoli are the only vegetables that are also technically flowers. And that's about all broccoli (the less good version of cauliflower) has going for it, so it's important to put it in the name.

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.

CRACKED.CO Red Fruitclusters A strawberry technically isn't a berry... it's a lot of fruits. Its seeds are each a fruit in itself. Also, it has nothing to do with straw...get that out of here.

CRACKED.C Big OI Greenberries Apologies for rocking your world, but watermelons are actually berries by botanist standards. So, in order to be accepted among their brethren the blueberries and blackberries, I present, greenberries. Big ol because... c'mon, let's have some fun here.

CRACKED.COM Watercandies Grapes taste like water, if water tasted good. Grape flavoring is nonsense, but actual grapes? Sweet but not overpowering. Also, the new name would be a great way to trick kids into thinking they are eating corn syrup.

CRACKED.COM Spookyfruit From a botanist's perspective, pumpkins are fruit. And although we think 'pumpkin' is a great name, changing the name will make sure it is only USED in the correct season.

CRACKED.CO Roasted Salads Okay, hear me out on this one... Brussels sprouts have an incredibly bad reputation, but they can be delicious as long as they coated in butter or oil and cooked. But we should stop pretending it's acceptable to prepare them any other way. Pokeyfruit The English word for pineapple makes no sense, which is a huge disservice to the greatest fruit of all time.

CRACKED.COM Sour Furbis Kiwi is a cute name we can keep for New Zealanders. However, the fruit kiwi could really use a rebrand. I haven't had one since they were forced upon me in school lunch. With kids in mind, I propose the name change to appeal to its two most appealing attributes. Spelled this way to avoid a lawsuit. Purple Penisplant Eggplants have been ruined by emojis, and there's no going back. Also, it looks nothing like an egg. Time to correct that. Fun fact: the eggplant is actually a berry by botanist standards.

CRACKED.COM Waterfruits Cucumbers taste way more like water than  watermelons. Also, cucumbers, botanically speaking, are fruits.

CRACKED.COM Banana Banana is the perfect name, no room for improvement It's funny and mushy like the fruit, and there's already the Gwen Stefani song that teaches us how to spell it.
Forgot Password?