Meat: that swee…uh, savory delicious set of delicacies that can only come from humans tapping into their most primal natures and…uh…ruthlessly slaughtering an animal. Jesus, this is our opener? Okay! 

 

Jokes aside, we're big fans of meat here at Cracked. Sure, we should all—collectively, as a society, for environmental and moral reasons—be eating less of it. But much like Cypher in The Matrix, we love a juicy and delicious steak, no matter what level of simulation we're living in. Where Cyper went wrong, though, is that ignorance is not bliss. Knowing things is fun! Knowing things makes you a more aware, more engaged, and more interesting person! That's what we're here for! Unfortunately, sometimes, knowing things involves a familiarity with ostrich meat. Sorry, we kinda buried the lede there. Did you know that if you tucked into a cut of ostrich meat expecting it’d taste like chicken—well, we don't wanna spoil anything. Here’s the full story, plus 12 others:

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