Have you ever looked at something like a sword, gun or missile and thought: “yea but what if it could kill, maim or disfigure even MORE sentient beings?” Erm, us neither, but we still managed to compile this outrageous list of absolutely bonkers weapons systems that are, frankly, over the top.  Though, to be honest, we would never say that to their faces.  Just look at these things!

We’ve always said that the great thing about science fiction is that it gives mankind something to strive for. Like, say, invisible agony rays and bespoke tear gas deployment systems. We bet you didn’t even know those things existed! Well, thank us later, preferably this evening when your dreams are filled with existential dread.

It’s not all gloom and doom though, take for example the harmonica gun, a musical methods of mass mayhem that let’s you utilize politics by other means while also doing your best rendition of Bob Dylan’s ‘blowing in the wind’, which is (hopefully) what the tattered remnants of your erstwhile foes will be doing.

The Pain Ray CRACKED.COM Innocently named the Active Denial System, this is actually a ruck-mounted satellite that can cause YOU to feel like you're burning alive, without leaving any evidence of assault.

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.


Forgot Password?