14 History Class Derailing Trivia Tidbits
![14 History Class Derailing Trivia Tidbits](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/5/792055_320x180.jpg)
When you went to history class in high school or college, you don't expect to hear the words “Eww, gross!” However, even though most history classes keep the content at PG-13 or lower, we all know that real history is just as disgusting, juvenile, putrid, and grody as real life. We aren't just talking about the lack of bathing during the Middle Ages either.
First, if your car breaks down or crashes, you get a tow truck and a mechanic, right? Well, what if this was time before automobiles and your horse “breaks down” a.k.a. dies? What about toilet paper before we mastered the art of the plushy two-ply stuff? And you don't even want to know what toothpaste used to be made from.
Here are some vile facts from throughout history that your teacher never taught you that will make you happy that you live in a comparatively less disgusting time.
![Penis bleeding was a rite of passage in ancient Egypt. and MIA CRACKED.COM There was a parasite in Egyptian marshes that would cause horrifying urethra bleeding amongst commoners who couldn't afford a dick pouch. It was common enough that some villages considered it an indication of passage into manhood; basically penile menstruation.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/9/792069.jpg)
Source: 5 Gross Tales From History You Never Learned In School
![The Black Plague made everyone afraid of bathing. CRACKED.COM Bathhouses fell out of fashion after The Plague started making everyone rot. But instead of deciding that a fetid public f*ck tank was inherently unhealthy, they figured it must be the act of bathing that made you sick. Regular bathing for commoners didn't come back into style until the early 1900's](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/7/792067.jpg)
![Lincoln's assassination was, arguably, even worse for his friend. GRACKED.CO CON Major Henry Rathbone and his fiance shared Lincoln's private box on that fateful day. Rathbone blamed himself for not saving the President's life, and his physical and mental health deteriorated dramatically. 18 years later, he murdered his wife and attempted to take his own life, winding up in an institution for the rest of his days.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/6/792066.jpg)
Source: White House History
![Toothpaste used to be made of lizard livers. CRACKED.COM The field of dentistry is still astonishingly unregulated. But back in the day, you could get bamboo pegs or copper shards pounded into your jaw, depending on where you lived. Early toothpastes were made of ground up tiny animals -- oh, and urine. Dentists didn't even wear gloves until the AIDS scare of the 1980's.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/8/792068.jpg)
![Medieval divorce court was basically a live sex show. CRACKED.COM Getting a divorce used to require proof of erectile dysfunction since the whole point of marriage was to squirt out more Christians, after all. Couples would sometimes have to awkwardly bone in front of a jury, and prostitutes were even deputized to try and coax a boner out of the defendent.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/3/792063.jpg)
Source: 5 Gross Tales From History You Never Learned In School
![Thomas Edison invented the Bride of Chucky. CRACKED.COM When he wasn't out murdering elephants, Edison devoted his time to creating the creepiest dolls on Earth. He stuffed tiny phonographs into these beaver-toothed cherubs SO they could wheeze out Hickory Dickory and There Was A Little Girl'' like the trailer for a horror movie.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/0/792060.jpg)
Source: Smithsonian
![Powdered wigs were parasite motels. DLD PEERIAN or ALDER DRIVIC AnsmG CRACKED.COM All the weird stuff folks used to do to their heads was more than just vanity; they were covering up lots of illnesses and ailments. They would periodically boil their wigs to kill the lice, cover their faces with toxic white lead, thicken up their eyebrows with mouse hide, and disguise the resulting sores with fake moles.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/5/792065.jpg)
![Commuting in NYC used to mean evading horse corpses. CRACKED.COM In the 1880's, NYC had about 40 dead horses per day on their hands. There's no such thing as a horse mechanic, and lugging a lifeless horse is a lot more complicated than towing a car. They'd often need to wait until the corpse decomposed enough to be removed in disgusting batches.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/1/792061.jpg)
![Please, kiss my dead wife. CRACKEDG In the 14th century, King Alfonso IV of Portugal had his son's mistress put to death. When his son, Don Pedro, took the throne two years later, he had his lover exumed and crowned Queen. He reportedly forced other nobles to kiss her hand at the ceremony.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/9/792059.jpg)
Source: Britannica
![Nearly every culture has had Fart Artists. CRACKED.COM Japan had heppiri otoko. The irish had braigetoirs. At one point, France's highest-paid entertainer was The Fartomaniac, who could play the flute, do impressions, and blow smoke rings with his ass. His practice regimen included 5 enemas per day.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/7/792057.jpg)
Source: 5 Gross Tales From History You Never Learned In School
![Parasols and hats were used as poo shields. CRACKED.COM Back in the days when people would huck their muck out the window, etiquette books instructed folks on how to give proper warning -- yell gardyloo! and listen for a hold your hand! from below - and how to navigate the sidewalk -- men should wear ge-brimmed hats and walk on the poop side of the sidwalk to protect women.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/4/792064.jpg)
![Pre-1930's toilet paper was a nighmare. GRACKED.COM The human race didn't get around to manufacturing a pleasant wiping mechanism until the early 20th century. Before the good stuff, people would wipe with a brittle, splintery, paper-like product. Before that? We're talkin' rocks, sticks, and shared sponges.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/6/792056.jpg)
Source: 5 Gross Tales From History You Never Learned In School
![John Wilkes Booth's assassin castrated himself. CRACKED.COM Boston Corbett was once so scandalized after an encounter with a prostitute, he snipped off his own junk with a pair of scissors. He then had dinner and went to a prayer meeting before deciding that... maybe a real doctor should have a look at his handiwork.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/6/2/792062.jpg)
![London evacuated Parliament over The Great Stink. CRACKED.COM In 1858, record heat waves along the River Thames - which was more of an open-air sewer than a proper river -- caused a stench so powerful, even rich people were inconvenienced. This caused them to finally implement modern plumbing.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/8/792058.jpg)
Source: 5 Gross Tales From History You Never Learned In School