BOXING Muhammad Ali CRACKED.COM Just before brutally yoinking the heavyweight belt from reigning champ Sonny The Big Bear'' Liston, Ali called his shot: After the fight I'm gonna build myself a pretty home and use him as a bearskin rug. Liston even smells like a bear. I'm gonna give him to the local ZOO after I whup him.

FOOTBALL Bo Jackson NCAA CRACKED.COM Bo doesn't care if you changed his diapers, you're gettin' hit: If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.

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BASKETBALL Michael Jordan CRACKED.COM A heckler once chided Jordan for dunking on a scrawny li'l 6'1 dude. The next time he got the ball, he targeted a guy 10 inches taller, then yelled to the fan: Was he big enough?

FOOTBALL Mike Ditka CRACKED.CO The legendary coach never tried to hide his disdain for reporters: What's the difference between a 3-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.

BASKETBALL Scottie Pippen CRACKED.COM As Karl The Mailman Malone went to the line for a crucial late-game free throw one Sunday, Pippen told him: Just remember, the mailman doesn't deliver on Sundays, Karl. Malone missed both tosses, and the Bulls won.

NCAA FOOTBALL Mike Gundy OSIU USO USO OSO USO OSO 050 the USU OST USO OSU USO CRACKED.com The Oklahoma State football coach was sick of his quarterback -- a college kid -- getting dragged by sports media all week. He eventually launched a tirade, the thesis of which was summed up thusly: Come after me! I'm a man! I'm 40!

BOXING Mike Tyson CRACKED.COM After getting clobbered by Lennox Lewis, Iron Mike was asked what he was going to do next. Instead of giving a cheeky stock answer about Disney World or something, he babbled out:I don't know, man. I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian.

TENNIS Steffi Graf CRACKED.COM During a match at Wimbledon, a fan yelled out Steffi, will you marry me? Instead of launching her racket at his larynx, as she had every right to do, she put him on the spot: How much money do you have?
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