The best comebacks are in TV shows and movies, where writers can set up a stellar punchline, But nothing is quite as impressive as an off-the-cuff quip. We asked Cracked readers on Facebook, “What’s the wittiest comeback you’ve ever heard in person?” Here are 19 of your responses. Let us know if you could do better.

TELL US NOW. Kristen W. shares, We were watching an infomercial for a silly product. My dad, jokingly, said to my kid, I hope you like those because that's what I got you for Christmas. My 6-year-old, without hesitation, without so much as looking up from the toys he was playing with, replied, And I hope YOU like returning things. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Rose-Ann S. was in the audience at Comic Con Manchester when Troy Baker asked the audience, Is there any role Tom Cruise hasn't been good in? I shouted back, His three marriages. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Bob W. says, In middle school, heard someone say Don't get smart with me! once and the person replied: You're right. You wouldn't be able to keep up CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Toby M. says, We were driving, stopped at a light, and an attractive woman with a large art notebook was waiting to cross the street. My friend leaned out of the car and asked the woman if she liked to draw. She said that she indeed did enjoy drawing. My friend then says, Well I'm pretty sketchy. CRACKED.COM

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TELL US NOW. Adam M. shares, Had a mouthy kid call me Shrek once (I am a bit heavy). I ignored it but there was a crowd watching so he kept saying it. Finally I turned and said in a perfect Shrek imitation: Well if I'm Shrek I guess that makes ya Donkey then, doesn't it! CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Charlie E. tells US, Dad, you're retired, you should just sit and relax, and my father snapped back, I can't just sit on my butt all day, I'm not like you! To which I said, I know, it's not as easy as I make it look. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Keith D. told an extremely terrible excuse for a human being at work, I hope your day is as wonderful as you are. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Matt K. says, High school Latin teacher who loved to use big words said something about our paradigm shifting. She paused, then asked the class, Does anyone even know what a paradigm is? Isn't it about 20 cents? CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Joseph G. says, As an atheist I exclaimed, Oh my god, and was told since I don't believe in a god I shouldn't be able to say that. To which I retorted, I say 'Oh my god' when something is unbelievable. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Duane G. says, I asked a 100-year-old man in a small town if he had lived there all his life. Not yet, was his reply. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Ron. W. shares, Disneyworld, 1989, our gang stopped at the main street ice cream parlor. Pete is ordering his cone from the counter girl, when she asks, Crushed nuts? No, I always walk this way. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Katie E. says, In high school a snobby girl who lied about everything told me and my sister that all her internal organs were upside down. My sister replied, So does that mean you're talking out of your ass? CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. AI P. tells US, One day I was relating to my staff that I had never had a headache, to which my assistant replied, Yeah, but you're a carrier. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Samuel M. shares, FB Friend (at the time): You think you know everything! Me: No. But, I'm way closer to knowing everything than you are. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Megon S. shares, As my brother-in-law and I sat next to the stage, the dancer went on. As she whips her legs towards US we lean back out of fear we're gonna get taken out by her huge clear heel. As we looked on we heard a deep, old voice say, Be careful, you'll lose an eye. Bewildered, my bro and I looked over... at a man with an eye patch. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Melissa P. tells US, Went to the dentist for a follow up. He was fresh out of school. He looks in my mouth and says, Oh,Oh, I remember you now. I said, Good thing you're not a gynecologist. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Anthony S. shares, When I was younger I was with my dad who was teaching my older brother to drive. At one point my older brother looked out the window and said, What hell is that? That's your reflection. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. Barry F. says, My mum once told me that it takes more muscles to frown that it does to smile. I replied that it took more muscles to point that out than it did to leave me alone. CRACKED.COM

TELL US NOW. James D. says, An argument with an acquaintance devolved into a political discussion, which then went straight into the gutter. My opponent sneered and said, Whoever brainwashed you did a good job. Without thinking I shot back, Yours did a great job given how little they had to work with. CRACKED.COM
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