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38 Historical Tidbits From Our Strange Past That Helped Shape Our Strange Present

Our ancestors got up to some weird and wild stuff

38 Historical Tidbits From Our Strange Past That Helped Shape Our Strange Present

October 23, 2024 Add Cracked to Google

If you’re like us and you’re looking for someone or something to blame for your present predicament, then look no further. While we were combing the sands of time, we realized that no matter how ridiculous these historical moments were, they still somehow shaped our weird little lives today. Like strange, sloppy little butterfly wings.

So after reading this list, you can rest easy knowing that your current situation isn’t all your parents’ fault!

38

The Ouija Board is about as ancient and mystical as Monopoly. CRACKED.COME PAC Photo: Getty Creative AVE http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1798/ how-does-a-ouija-board-work M3 NORTH CAROLINA AVENUE were invented by COMMUNITY CHEST businessmen in 1890, M300 several Baltimore Ouija boards and today the word registered trademark PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE INCOME Ouija is still a SHORT LINE TAX of Parker Brothers. M320 CHANCE BALTIC ? MWOO AVENUE COMMUNITY M60 CHEST PARK PLACE LUXURY TAX M350 MEDITER- RANEAN AVENUE PAY M100 BOARDWALK M60 COLLECT M200 SALARY ASYOU PASS M600 GO — Source

37

WWI Allied Commanders forbade troops from using parachutes. The commanders feared that parachutes would turn pilots into cowards, arguing that they'd be more likely to abandon a damaged plane rather than heroically save it. GRACKED.COM http://www.usaww1 com/World_War_1_Fighter_Pilots php4 — Source

36

Hans Lippershey is the inventor of the telescope. Lippershey, a Dutchman, applied for a patent in 1608. The Dutch government refused his patent, and instead issued a report sharing his work. Galileo read the report and recreated Lippershey's telescope, but with stronger magnification. A year later he received the patent, and credit for inventing the telescope. GRACKED.COM http://www.history-of-the-microscope.org/hans-lippershey-invented-the-telescope.php — Source

35

Lord Byron was one of the greatest British poets. Не was a leading figure in the Romantic movement that took place during the first half of the 19th century. He's regarded as one of the greatest British poets, and remains widely read and influential. THE CRAZY: Не collected pubes. Byron had numerous affairs, and collected a lock of pubic hair from each of his lovers. Не kept them on file at his publishing house, where they remained for more than 100 years after he died. CRACKED.COM Robert Schnakenberg 2008 Secret Lives of Great Authors. — Source

34

Constantine

In the 4th century, a meteor streaked across the sky. It made Christianity the widespread religion it is today. In 310 A.D., not-yet-emperor-Constantine was fighting a civil war against another guy laying claim to the throne, Maxentius. Constantine's army was outnumbered, but before their final, decisive battle, he saw a trophy in the sky, which he took as a sign from God. Constantine's army won, and he became the emperor who passed the Edict of Milan, which led to the explosion of Christianity. Scientists have recently discovered the impact crater of a meteorite that dates back to Constantine's miracle. CRACKED.COM — Source

33

We all know the stories about Honest Abe Lincoln and his log cabin. MFM IS ENSHRINED FOR WHAT WE SHOULD BE TAUGHT All that log-splitting and cabin-building made Abraham Lincoln incredibly strong. Не was known to haul crates of stones weighing over 1,000 pounds around his hometown. There are also two recorded instances of Lincoln picking somebody up by the neck and tossing him aside like a doll - one of which happened while he was on the campaign trail. CRACKED.COM David Herbert Donald, 1996 Lincoln. — Source

32

The Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 is considered to have launched the women's suffrage movement. Jhio carol mag issued for the bion beld at Seuesage Falls in 1908 and is off Our 'Roll honor Containing all the Signatures to the Declaration of Sentiments Set Forth by the First Woman's Rights Convention, held at Seneca Falls, New York July 19-20, 1848 LADIES: Lucretia Mott Rachel D. Bonnel Sophronia Taylor Harriet Cady Eaton Cynthia Davis Belsey Tewksbury Margaret Pryor Hannah Plant Rhoda Palmer Elizabeth Cady Stanton Lucy Jones Margaret Jenkins Eunice Newton Foote Sarah Whitney Cynthia Fuller Mary Ann M'Clintock Mary H. — Source

31

Wondering who the first person to make cheese was? Unfortunately, you'll likely never get an answer. Cheese exists before recorded history, and its specific origin is still unknown, though estimated around 8000 ВС. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

The ancient Egyptians considered the flowers of the iris to represent wisdom, faith, and valor. In fact, iris flowers often made an appearance attached to the scepters of the pharaohs. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

The US is home to about 200 million starlings, and it's because of Shakespeare. In 1890, there was a program to bring every bird species from Shakespeare's plays to North America, and that included releasing 60 starlings in Central Park. Eventually, that number grew to 200 million. CRACKED.COM

28

The oldest known Elvis autograph is in an old book, from 1948. Elvis, then 13, signed his name on a library card in that book in 1948 (it's English Fairy Tales). CRACKED.COM

27

The USSR

During the 1930s, weekends were abolished in Russia (and the whole USSR). The new calendar had days of rest scattered kind of randomly, and those days were different for different groups of workers. The scheme was nixed in 1940. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

26

The USSR

Russian prisoners tattooed images of Lenin and Stalin as protective amulets. While the USSR existed, some prisoners believed guards weren't allowed to shoot Lenin's and Stalin's faces, so they got those tattooed on their chests. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

25

In the 17th century, coffee was thought to make men impotent. At one point, in an attempt to restore their husbands' virility, a bunch of London women petitioned against coffee houses. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

24

In 17th-century London, you'd have to pay one of several fire brigades to save your building. A fire mark You'd insure it against fire, and the company would place its fire mark on the building. That way, when it caught fire, the company's firemen would know they were supposed to put out the fire (otherwise, they'd just leave). NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

23

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson gave his library to Congress after the British burned the Capitol in 1814. That doubled the size of the Library of Congress -- there were 3,000 volumes before the fire (all of which burned down), and Jefferson sent about 6,500 volumes. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

22

CRACKED.COM Kodak learned about secret nuclear tests by accident. In July 1945, Kodak started noticing that a sensitive film they made was fogged (covered with dark spots). As this was caused by radioactive contamination, they eventually figured out that the likely cause was that holy s#!t someone was setting off nuclear bombs. — Source

21

Teddy Roosevelt loved boxing with random people. Roosevelt liked fisticuffs so much that he had a boxing gym installed in the White House's basement, and would invite pretty much everyone to a bout. Не had to quit the sport after a military aide nearly blinded him in his left eye. CRACKED.COM — Source

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20

GRACKED.COM People used to get poisoning from potatoes. Before modern screening processes, it wasn't uncommon for people to get solanine poisoning from potatoes. Solanine is one of the same ingredients that make deadly nightshade, well, deadly. Green potatoes tend to be chock-full of the nasty stuff. — Source

19

Paper Airplanes

Paper airplanes have existed for thousands of years. The Chinese have been folding paper into flying shapes for the last 2,000 years. Of course, they didn't call them airplanes- those were more like simple origami birds. Paper planes as we know them today date back to the Civil War, when they were called paper darts. GRACKED.COM — Source

18

Madagascar

The original settlers of Madagascar really went out of their way to get there. You'd think that Madagascar was first settled by people coming from Africa-and you'd be wrong. Madagascar's indigeous population are descended from people who canoed all the way from Indonesia, 3,000 miles away. The motivation for that long trip is still a mystery. GRACKED COM — Source

17

CRACKED COM Romans had porn coins. Coins with sexy imagery have been found for centuries, going back to the early times of the Roman Empire. Regular money, however, wasn't X-rated- so it isn't clear what the deal with these was. It's been theorized they were tokens to be used at brothels. — Source

16

The USSR

A Soviet general got Coca-Cola into the USSR. Coke's imperialistic reputation bugged General Georgy Zhukov, who had taken a liking to the brown sugary beverage during World War II. So through his foreign contacts, he got crates of and colorless Coke sent to him, which he could happily chug without anyone suspecting it wasn't vodka. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

CRACKED.COM The creator of Peter Pan wrote Sherlock Holmes fanfic. Think fanfiction is a thing of the internet? People have been writing (and publishing) pastiches and imaginary sequels with their favorite characters since the 1800s. J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, wrote his own Sherlock Holmes adventure in 1893. — Source

14

Galileo mathematically mapped Hell. Long before The Lord of the Rings, nerds liked to argue about Dante's Inferno-and Galileo Galilei outnerded them all. In 1588, a young Galileo gave a series of lectures presenting his calculations about the physical and mathematical properties of Dante's Hell, and poking holes into other fans' theories. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

Peter the Great shaved people against their will. The late 17th-century Tsar wanted Russia to be more like Europe-and that included the lack of beards. Not only did he tax bushy facial hair, but would forcibly shave his guests, and eventually anyone he came across. (Making things worse, he wasn't exactly a good barber.) CRACKED.COM — Source

12

Apollo 12 was struck by lightning. Twice. When Apollo 12 took off in November 1969, the rocket was struck by lightning twice in a span of 20 seconds. Mission Control thought the damage would make it impossible for the astronauts to return to Earth after their mission. (Luckily, they were wrong.) CRACKED.COM — Source

11

Universal Health Care

The American Medical Association torpedoed universal health care. The National Physicians' INSERT CON Committee (often described as a lobbying front for the PUSH BUTTON AMA) opposed public health care since the late '30s-and FLU in 1945, they ramped up their MEASLES campaigning with BROKEN LEG scaremongering cartoons OPERATION about the dangers of ETC socialized medicine, to sink Truman's health care bill. LLS GRACKED.COM — Source

10

CRACKED.COM George Patton thought he had fought for ages. General Patton believed in reincarnation, and thought he had lived through many lives- always as a soldier. Не claimed to have served under Julius Caesar and Napoleon, among many others. It's not clear how he reconciled this with his devout Christian beliefs. — Source

9

Belgium

CRACKED.COM Belgium attempted to use cats to deliver mail. In 1879, in the city of Liège, the Belgian Society for the Elevation of the Domestic Cat had the idea of using cats in the same way as carrier pigeons, giving them small waterproof postbags. The results were disappointing, and the experiment was cancelled. — Source

8

Angela Lansbury moved overseas to get away from Charles Manson. In the late 60s, Lansbury's children weren't in the safest environments: Her son Anthony had drug problems, and her daughter Deirdre rolled with the Manson family. So she up and moved the family to Ireland, saving Deirdre from being involved in any murders. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

Back in the 18th century, Fraternities college societies were less were born about keg, togas, and as literary hazing, and more about societies. debating topics like politics, literature, and religion. The first fraternal organization as we know them today, Phi Beta Карра Society, was established in 1776, and more soon followed. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

HBO's first original programming was polka. Back when it was a regional TV provider that only broadcast movies nine hours a day, HBO first flexed their production muscles by broadcasting the Pennsylvania Polka Festival in 1973. It was a really long way to robot cowboys and dragon boobs. HBO CRACKED COM — Source

5

The test run for D-Day was as deadly as the actual D-Day. Exercise Tiger was a full-scale practice landing, performed on a British beach - and through a combination of live ammunition, bureaucratic screwups, and German boats showing up uninvited, hundreds died. The entire operation was covered up and forgotten about for a long time. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

King Edward I refused Scotland's surrender to fire his trebuchet. In 1306, Edward Longshanks ordered the building of a huge- ass trebuchet, in order to break the defenses of Stirling Castle and end the Scottish rebellion. The Scots tried to surrender when they saw this medieval Death Star - but Eddie just wouldn't let them. Not before he fired his sweet trebuchet, damn it. CRACKED COM — Source

3

A Nazi War criminal was Secretary- General of the U.N. Kurt Waldheim was declared a war crimes suspect as early as 1948, but he avoided investigations, rose in politics, and ended up running the U.N. from 1972 to 1982. It eventually came to light that he was involved in executions and sending people to death camps. Whoops. CRACKED COM — Source

2

We know medieval women illuminated books from looking at their teeth. Ultramarine was a wildly expensive blue pigment, which was mostly used to illuminate luxury manuscripts. That's how we know nuns did this work, as opposed to just monks as it was assumed - licking their brushes to sharpen the point left traces of ultramarine on their teeth. tu fune 11 GRACKED.COM vird 31 — Source

1

Tomatoes were blamed for werewolves. When tomatoes first arrived in Europe in the 1500s, many were suspicious of them - with some even identifying them as a key ingredient to potions used by witches to fly and turn themselves (or others) into werewolves. CRACKED.COM — Source

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