26 Absolutely Insane Grocery Store Incidents

We need a cleanup in literally every aisle…
26 Absolutely Insane Grocery Store Incidents

Excluding competition shows like Guy’s Grocery Games or Supermarket Sweep, grocery shopping is a pretty normal affair. There’s the occasional adrenaline rush of scoring a deal or two, but otherwise, nothing particularly exciting happens. Maybe that’s why one guy went to a supermarket wearing a lace dress and carrying a parasol while pushing a man in a lion suit in a cart. They were tired of the grocery shopping status quo, and wanted to give people something to see. 

On that note, whether it’s a man, uh, “christening” the extra virgin olive oil or a serial chicken biter, here are some supermarket sights that were certainly out of the norm…

CrazyPete124 . . 9y I saw a drunk homeless man in a grocery store sticking his dick in extra virgin olive oil bottles saying Nope, not anymore. ... 31
lovelleigh . 9y I'm working as a cashier at a grocery store, it's two hours into my shift, and I'm not totally awake but trying to power through it. I look up and suddenly realize my next customer is a man wearing a lace dress with a parasol, pushing a cart which contains a man crouching in a lion suit. I realize they don't have any items with them just as the man with the parasol says nothing for us today, thank you in a proper tone and continues on his way.
curiousbooty . 9y I was in the cosmetics section and was contemplating nail polish colors when a guy came barreling down the aisle, eyes locked on mine and seemingly headed straight towards me. Не was being tailed by two cops who grabbed him and pulled him away. Не was around five feet away when he was caught. Не didn't yell or speak or resist or anything. Не just kept looking at me. The cops left the store with him and no one batted an eye. ... 2
smallhead_not . 9y I used to bag groceries. A lady peppersprayed another man over the last 24 pack of a certain toilet paper. There were different brands or different size packages, but this lady really wanted what she came to the store for I guess ... 2
MilkCakeCheeseShake e 9y I was at Thrifty Foods once, I saw some old guy get a cucumber and started jerking it pretending it was his penis and making load moaning noises and police had to come get him. ... 3
Rebelcleric 7y Just a few Elderly woman in just bra and panties buying fresh fish Customer hitting one of my co-workers in the face with a thrown apple Scrawny shoplifter being flattened by 6'7 store manager The worst one though was a line of liquid shit leading up 1 aisle and back down the next one ... 919
PhoneAccountMan a 7y Way, way too late for this. But I'm a cashier, and this guy walks up to my counter with a full roast chicken. I glance at him and continue checking out the person in front of me. When I look back, he's gone. My manager comes sprinting up the aisle, picks up the chicken, shakes the container angrily and yells, I KNEW IT, НЕ DID IT AGAIN. I pull the container over and the guy had just taken a single bite out of the top of the chicken and left it. I have no idea how many
shrekwvu 7y A fat guy hurried into the store, he was beat red and sweating profusely. Не rushed up to the counter with a few bottles of extra strength laxative. As soon as I finished scanning them he started chugging them. Не paid cash and I handed him his receipt and change. Не burped and pushed the receipt and now empty bottles towards me and calmly walked out of the store. ... 904
epfourteen . 7y A homeless man living in the corner of the garden center at Walmart. Не set up camp behind the industrial shelves. Stole a tent and was living there for a week. Не was shoplifting all his supplies and food. Got ballsy and stole a George Foreman grill and was cooking a steak at 2am. FD was called for smoke in the building and found him behind the shelves. Was a pretty solid plan actually. ... 6.1k
woahyoustalker1 . . 9y I saw a guy smell all the different kinds of toilet paper for about ten minutes. ... 1
Scrivener83 . 7y You know how some people will pick up a chocolate bar or a can of Coke, and eat/drink it in the store, then give the poor cashier the garbage and pay for it at the cash? I saw someone doing that, but with a whole cooked ham. And not one of those little deli hams either, it was one of those 5 kg bastards they sell at Easter. : 169
Bluelotuss 7y This isn't fucked up but I thought it was hysterical. I was ringing these two middle aged guys up on my line, and I rang up a couple bananas and a giant thing of soda so the soda went crashing into the bananas. And one of the guys said woah you're crushing my bananas and the other guy yelled in the most flamboyant voice I've ever heard that's not what you said in bed last night, bitch and I couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes ... 1.8k
maedae66 7y I was working in the floral dept. A large old woman in a motorized cart asked if I could honor her expired coupon. I told her I didn't have a register in my dept, and pointed out customer service at the front of the store. Also, we didn't even have the product the coupon was for. She purposely backed into a display of potted pants but couldn't knock them over to make her point, so she made a sharp turn and pushed over a few plants that were on the floor. She looked at me triumphantly with the
listen- . 7y My friend was pregnant with twins and was at Wegmans with our other friend. Unfortunately I didn't get to witness this. Her water broke in, of all places, the pickle aisle. She threw jars of pickles on the liquid to hide it, then left. She said she didn't really know why she did that. She freaked out and didn't want anyone to think she pissed herself, not thinking I'm massively pregnant with twins and water breaking is an actual thing ... 753
mariam67 . . 7y My mom saw a woman sneeze on the tomatoes and then take a picture of them. We're still baffled. ... 442
daburdziak . . 7y When I was a stocker at a small grocery store, we had a shoplifter get caught stealing steaks. Не had put them down his pants, and the owner/managers caught him and pushed him into the back room. Then, a bunch of the stockers wrestled him to the floor and pinned him while he screamed, I'm a plant! ... 74
speck-of-stardust . 7y not f__d up, I just thought it was funny in a grocery store once when I looked up because someone was loudly having a cell phone conversation in the middle of produce, or I thought it was a cell phone, but when I looked, turned out to be a banana! They continued the conversation for 30 more seconds, and then walked my way, handed me the fruit, and said, it's for you ... 42
onegregwiley . 7y Manager of a grocery store, at the time. I saw a drunk customer walk in the back. I was curious and followed her. I caught her pissing next to the milk cooler. Lucky for me there happened to be a mop near by. I politely gave her a choice: clean it up or talk to the cops. That's the cleanest that floor has never been. ... 13
mostnormal . 7y Went to Wal-Mart after working late one night. Like 2 AM. Some lady was opening the different varieties of salad dressings and tasting them. She'd open one, squeeze some into her mouth, then close it and put it back. I watched her do that with 3 or 4 but I was tired so I didn't wait to see what she finally went with. ... 8
tcinternet . 2 7y One time I was buying bay leaves, and a toddler came into the spice aisle, whipped it out, started pissing on the bags of sugar, then looked at me and yelled PENIS! Then he ran away. ... 8
 7y ... I once saw somebody open a bottle of milk, sniff it and wrinkled her nose in disgust. then proceeded to pour the bit of milk she didn't like into another bottle and buy the first bottle. 1.1k Reply
Last_of_us 10y A lady screamed at my со worker until a security guard escorted her out. She screamed after seeing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on the cover of a magazine and apparently she had very strong opinions about them being together. ... 4
Commanduf . 7y Saw a woman walk right past everyone in line right to the front, everyone was way to stunned to actually say anthing or even try to compute how someone can be so rude. (yeah it might not seem that fucked up, but to me line cutting is up there with clubbing baby seals) ... 6
7PurpleAvocados . 7y This like 5 year old kid emptied a 4 pint bottle of milk all over floor, and her mum just stood there and watched. Wtaf lady?! Control your ridiculous child Edit: To add to that the child managed to place the empty bottle in the centre of this now 2m wide puddle and the mum just looked at me and said you've got some cleaning up to do. ... 2.1k
vindictiiv . 7y Quite few years ago in Orlando, Florida, saw a woman smoking in the produce section. Ashing her cigarette into the iceberg lettuce. ... 4
CommunistToteBag 7y Cooked at a whole foods in the midwest. Fucking Pauly Shore comes in. Wanders around and yucks it up for a while, seems to enjoy the attention he's getting. Walks over to the hot-bar, $7.99 a pound for cooked food buffet thing- and decides he wants to try the soups. That's cool, Whole Foods is really down with giving out samples. Motherfucker does not ASK for a sample, he dips his goddamn hands into the hot as shit soup; all four soups. Slurps it right out of his palms. he must have hands made of iron, or the
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