28 of the Funniest Conversations People Have Overheard

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28 of the Funniest Conversations People Have Overheard

Eavesdropping is one of life’s simple pleasures that costs nothing to enjoy. Though it used to be a faux pas to listen in on someone else’s conversation, there are now entire Instagram accounts dedicated to the act. And while yes, full context of the conversation would be nice, it’s more fun to hear just a snippet of dialogue and run with it. 

Over the years, the Redditors below have overheard some outrageous things at restaurants, music festivals and even movie theaters. After reading this, you might be self-conscious about the things you discuss in public. Don’t be. Let the eavesdroppers have their fun. 

Damsell . 8y I saw a dad putting his son, who looked to be about 2 or 3, in a high chair at a restaurant. The kid wasn't having it and gave his dad an exasperated look and said, Am I a baby? Am. I. А. BABY? ... 382

CherokeeofInfinity . 8y I was at a festival and some drunk girl walked passed me talking on the phone and crying her eyes out saying I keep yelling Marco, but people keep yelling back Polo. ... 701

bestsmithfam . 8y At the movie Paranormal Activity, a girl behind me was constantly blurting out Did you see that? Eventually the girl with her yelled fairly loud Bitch, we're watching the same fucking movie! ... 669

Von_Moistus . 8y Overheard on a street corner in Vegas: If I catch him hanging around again, Im'ma kill him, bury him in the desert, and eat corn on his grave. I tried to muffle my laughter while my wife shot me angry looks and hurried me along. ... 141

SiberianCoalTrain . 8y In college, How could 9/11 have been an inside job if the planes came from outside the building? How did you manage to get in here? 349

Antioneluke . 8y So that's how Jesus did it. Не was a serpent. There are still nights I lie awake wondering what the context wad ... 105

frostygnosis . 8y Couple walking towards me one night while I was heading to a club. Guy was mid-rant: I can deal with shitty art! I can put up with lousy music. I can even handle drug users and pushers! But I WILL NOT tolerate FLUORESCENT LIGHTING!!! Had me howling all the way and into the club ... 101

razorblazer420 . 8y Probably not the funniest ever. But the other day i walked into a gas station and the clerk was on the phone saying (in a tone that was obviously directed to a child) Gavin, now you know your mother was joking when she said you had to sleep outside tonight. ... 339

Spodson . 8y I was walking out o the theater after seeing Apollo 13. A girl in front of me turned to her date and said, Oh my God, what if something like that actually happened? Her date turn and looked at me with an almost apologetic look in his eyes. ... 35

Sonant · . 8y Went to the toilet in a restaurants bathroom went to one of the urinals and pee'd , finish and zip up, then I hear someone from one of the stools clearly frustrated fucking prostate. Made me laugh very hard, poor guy. ... 31

generaldisarray420 . 7y I was at a graduation party for my best friend when she graduated high school in '07, and a boy she was hanging out with at the time was there. Не had to use my friend's house phone to call his mom and the last thing he said to her before hanging up was I'm a grown ass man, mom, I'll skateboard home! We still use that to this day. ... 10.1k

KindaSithy . 7 7y I was walking past a bar one night and a man was standing outside on the phone and I caught look man, I need to tell you about the monkey.. ... 4.3k

Breadbaker93 . 7y In Costco and they had giant crab for sale Little girl: dad what do they eat Dad: Little girls called Megan ... 4k

katjalove . 1 7y I like my password. It's hello4. But don't tell anyone Some little girl behind me talking to another kid ... 2k

Blissrat 7y I was at the bathroom in my university, washing my hands and overheard a dude talking softly in one of the stalls. (Stalls are completely closed with a wall in between them.) When he stopped speaking, I heard the guy next to him talk in a similar way. This went on for a few more seconds, until I heard one of them say ...in a minute, I'm in the bathroom right now, followed by the other dude, Haha yeah, me too. First dude, slightly louder already: Wait, are you next to me then? Second dude : (soft) Possibly (louder) Hey

Cm0002 . 7y Somebody was talking on the phone on my way back to the car from the grocery store No I didn't fucking kill him, why would you fucking think that Needless to say I probably broke a record for fastest car grocery loading ever ... 1.9k

ChristopherTitan - 6 6y Guy on the phone at a Taco Bell: Nah man I can't hang out today. It's Titty Tuesday. ... 5.6k

Hurray_for_Candy . 6y I was in the checkout line at the grocery store and a boy around 8 years old was asking his mom to buy him something and she said no. Не muttered under his breath, I will kill you some day. ... 9.6k

scarabic . 6y Girls walking by at Burning Man: I actually wound up sleeping with two guys named Brad yesterday. ... 3.5k

Hadgfeet . 6 6y I was in Wilkos with my mate and two little old ladies were in front. Next thing we hear is this humongous fart and from nowhere this little old lady just says I thought that one was going to be silent I could have died. ... 7.6k

Spang53 . . 6y I was in driver training and when the teacher stopped talking we heard a girl at the back say, No, I think you're confusing incest with animal porn. ... 13.3k

locker_talkin_trump . 6y Once was eating in a cafeteria in college and a girl at the table says well, I need to piss. Gonna go juice the taco and see you guys later. Never heard the term 'juice the taco' since.

mattortz. 6y at a coffee shop I've never had pumpkin flavored anything. Not even carrot cake. ... 5.6k

md1990rs . 6y We found my brother sleep walking the halls one night. All he said was The ducks are coming, get the mushroom bucket ... 8.6k

MeatyCheetos 6y One time, in the middle of the night, my brother sat up in his bed when we shared a room as kids. Still asleep and with no later recollection of the event, he said as clearly as ever, Now on to the large intestine. and lied back down. ... 8.1k

zombienudist . 6y Standing in line at the Vatican to go into the Sistine chapel. The lady behind us says to the group she is with where are the other 15 chapels. ... 1.4k

sonicwombat. 6y I was working retail and shooting the shit with a coworker. Super angry guy stomps past us talking on his phone. All of a sudden he screams, YOU TOOK THE DONKEY HOME! YOU DON'T GET UNEMPLOYMENT! So many questions. ... 133

OhioFaceBeard . . 4y I was once playing NHL with a couple friends. Our randomly filled teammate was probably about a 14 or 15 year old kid. We then hear an older woman's voice (presumably his mother) in the thickest Boston accent I've ever heard, Wash ya fuckin hands Teddy, 2 pumps of soap, don't break the fuckin container! ... 8.5k
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