12 Madness-Inducing Bits of Trivia Too Awesome and Terrible to Be Processed by the Human Brain, Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You
These horrifying, non-euclidean factoids just arose from the sea one day and started terrorizing the population. Devouring people, zapping them to other dimensions, driving those who gaze upon them utterly mad — the whole nine yards. The armed forces of the world are doing their thing, but so far, it doesn’t seem like any of them are capable of dying. Your best bet is to just kind of go about your day, and try not to even glance at them.
Some people reported seeing tidbits about space trees, the woman who’s too vegan for Switzerland and the great beef between Larry David and Roger Ebert, but then their brains turned to magma and oozed out of their noses before we could make sense of whatever they were babbling about.
Anyway, just to reiterate, it’s our recommendation that you do not read these 12 bits of trivia.
There Are 60 Trees in the World That Have Been to Space
Apollo 14 brought a few hundred seeds of various trees on its trip to the moon, which were then distributed around the country and planted at various parks, camps and government buildings. The Moon Tree Foundation has been able to locate about 60 of them in recent years.
The 10-Hour Troll Film
British filmmaker Charlie Shackleton produced a high-res, 10-hour film that was literally just paint drying on a wall. He was protesting the U.K.’s strict film censorship by forcing the British Board of Film Classification to watch the entire thing in order to give it an age rating.
Chopping Wood Is Empirically Manlier Than Soccer
A study of testosterone levels after various activities found that chopping wood increased the hormone by 46 percent, while soccer increased it by a scant 29 percent.
A Dutch Woman Was Legally Too Annoying for Switzerland
In 2017, Nancy Holten was denied Swiss citizenship, for the second time, despite having lived there for over three decades. Citizenship is highly dependent on input from your peers, and Holten’s peers resent her because of her outspoken opposition to the tradition of putting huge, loud bells on their cows. That, and she’s a vegan and won’t shut up about it.
It’s Possible for Grey Hair to Un-Grey
Scientists have observed hair that had previously gone grey due to stress returning to its natural color upon returning to a normal level of cortisol. The phenomenon seems to occur to random, single hairs, but scientists are working on a way to create an un-greyifying medication.
Larry David Took His Revenge on Roger Ebert
Ebert put David’s 1998 film Sour Grapes on his list of most hated films, saying, “I can’t easily remember a film I’ve enjoyed less.” In a 2002 episode of Curb, “The Grand Opening,” a character who rates restaurants on a thumbs-up-to-thumbs-down gradient gets his thumbs shattered by a dodgeball. Ebert seemed to acknowledge the clapback in an interview, saying, “Curb Your Enthusiasm is a wonderful TV show, and I like it a lot. I did wince when the critic’s thumbs got broken.”
Dice Lets Employees Call in Hungover
The U.K.-based live events ticketing app has four hangover days built into its sick-day policy, to encourage folks to enjoy the events they help promote. They only ask that the employee send “music,” “beers” and “sick” emojis to their boss on WhatsApp to let them know what’s going on.
90 Percent of Blind People in the U.S. Can’t Read Braille
There are about 1.3 million legally blind people in the country, with about 75,000 folks joining their ranks every year.
Your Friends Are, Biologically Speaking, Accidental Family
A study of high school buddies found that pairs of friends were more genetically similar than completely random pairs of people. That biological similarity is even stronger among married couples.
In Ancient Persia, They Made Sure That a Drunk Spoke a Sober Mind
When faced with a big decision, scholars would make a point of mulling it over both sober, and completely sloshed. If, and when, their sober self and drunk self agreed, they could be confident that they’d reached a valid conclusion.
Purple Is the Least-Used Color Among World Flags
It’s most likely because of its affiliation with wealth and royalty. Modern democracies don’t want to strike any sort of regal tone, and in the old days, purple was prohibitively expensive to produce (which is why it was associated with wealth to begin with).
Kanye West Humiliated Two Disabled Fans at a Show
In 2014, Kanye halted a show in Australia, refusing to perform until everyone in the crowd got on their feet, and announced, “I decided I can’t do this song, I can’t do the rest of the show until everybody stands up.” He got increasingly hostile toward two fans who wouldn’t stand, and didn’t believe they were in wheelchairs until one of them waved their prosthetic leg in the air.