12 Caustic Bits of Trivia That Need to Be Sealed Away in a Lead Vault for 1,000 Years Before They Can Be Safely Studied

Male cheetahs have a distinct bark that can kick any nearby females that aren’t already ovulating into a menstrual speed run.

Charles Schwab surveyed 1,000 people about their opinions on wealth, and it turns out you ain’t shit until you have $2.2 million. The same survey seemed to indicate that people feel wealthy themselves when they have $560,000 in the bank.

In college, Chamberlain was already huge and athletic enough to hurl his entire body, not just the ball, at the rim. It was such a jarring experience to behold, he’s the reason you’re not allowed to do that anymore.

In 1968, when London decided to scrap their sinking bridge and build a new one, they wanted to see if they could get some rich American idiot to buy it. They marketed it in the U.S. by saying, “London Bridge is not just a bridge, it is the heir to 2,000 years of history,” even though that particular bridge had only been built in 1831. Rich idiot Robert McCulloch took the bait, paying over $2 million just for the bridge, and who knows how much more to have it installed over Arizona’s Lake Havasu.

Volvo has estimated that production of one of its EVs has a 70 percent larger carbon footprint than that of its classic gas-powered models. Importantly, carbon emissions over its lifetime more than make up for that, but they released that alarming statistic to jolt world governments into investing in less onerous batteries and cleaner fuel sources.

This unlucky Canadian walked out of his shower, naked, and saw a Mountie chilling in his bedroom. She claimed she was there to serve a citation for not stopping for a school bus, which he’d supposedly done six months earlier. She claims that when she knocked on the door, it flew open of its own accord, and she (legally) walked right in.

Biologists think it’s a little strange that chlorophyll actively reflects green light waves, when it needs those waves to photosynthesize. One microbial geneticist thinks that retinal, a purple substance that absorbs green light, may have been the dominant photosynthesizer for a while.

Compare that to about 470 operated by the U.S. Navy, and about 190 operated by Mexico’s, and it’s pretty clear the Canucks aren’t taking the nautical threat from Greenland as seriously as they should be.

Ramsay got a $10 million insurance policy in the event his tongue gets injured, diseased or just too old to scream insults at small business owners. By comparison, a Cadbury “chocolate scientist” got hers insured for just over $1 million. That’s an odd disparity, considering Ramsay, a food judge, could just lie, whereas everyone will know if the Cadbury lady accidentally creates a dogshit-flavored egg.

In 1787, before it was a pugnacious quip, the phrase was just intended to be sound financial advice. “In God We Trust” didn’t appear on our coins until after the Civil War (the gory and traumatizing conflict in which God finally proved He could be Trusted).

Statistically speaking, you shouldn’t tickle most babies. But if you make a Navajo baby laugh, you have to throw it a party. A baby’s first laugh is considered sacred, and there’s a tradition that the person who made the baby laugh has to give it a gift of turquoise jewelry and throw a dinner party for the whole family. 

Every few years, some kid in Montana rediscovers this one obscure law, and pulls a legitimately rad senior prank: Get your friends to ride their horses to school, hitch ‘em up and remind the principal that they’re required to feed and water them throughout the day.