Cracked Archive - Weird World

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20 Video Game Characters Before They Were Famous

Nobody starts out as a ninja or a globe-trotting adventurer. You have to work your way up to it.

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The 7 Types of Friend Everyone Needs

Like a superhero team or a group of guys you're getting together for a heist, you need friends that have various skills that will benefit you the best.

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The 16 Most Baffling Pieces of Official Merchandise Ever

We get that kids will go nuts for toys, or adults will throw wads of cash to add to their collections. But the stuff on this list isn't for either of those groups. Or anyone else, apparently.

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5 Soldiers Whose Horrific Injuries Only Made Them Angry

It should come as no surprise that battlefields see their share of brave men. Every once in a while, however, they see a man with a special kind of bravery, the kind that borders on suicidal. The spirits of such men can't be cut down, even if their bodies are. In fact, disabling them often just makes them all the more fearsome

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6 Old People Who Could Kick Your Ass

Most of us who still have intact and mostly alive grandparents generally wouldn't be intimidated by them in a physical sense. Then again, most of us haven't really put that to the test (nor should we). When pushed, you might be surprised what our senior citizens have in reserve.

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To My Unborn Son: Stuff I Won't Have the Balls to Say

Five Reasons Bastards Always Win

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If Theme Parks Just Didn't Give a F#@k

What amusement parks might look light if they decided they couldn't be bothered to worry about safety, or any of the other things sane people pay attention to.

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6 Family Circus Cartoons Improved with Offensive Jokes

A lot of people would save Abraham Lincoln if they had a time machine. Not me. I would let Lincoln die while I went back to the dawn of language and made sure

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The 4 Most Potentially Badass Fathers Who Never Had Kids

Pointing out the people who shouldn't have had kids (Hitler's Dad, his Mom, and so forth), is easy and boring. So, in honor of Father's Day, I've rounded up a bunch of awesome and badass historical figures who absolutely should have filled this planet with their offspring.

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3 Steps to Not Sucking at Air Travel [CHART]

You're going to travel by plane. Might as well not make an embarassing mess of it.

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If Historical Figures Endorsed Modern Products

Most historical figures existed before there was such a thing as selling out. They probably would be just as publicly refreshed by popular soft drinks as modern icons if given the opportunity. We give them that chance.

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5 Awful Things Nobody Tells You About Moving

There are all sorts of traps, pitfalls, and dastardly sons of bitches lurking out there, just waiting to pounce on you in your vulnerable state of temporary Hobo-osity. And nobody warns you about them ... presumably because Big Moving has had all of their protesting tongues cut out and fed into the secret Misery Engines that really keep those truck

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28 Great Movies From the Perspective of Minor Characters

Everyone's got a story to tell. If the henchmen were telling the story, Bond films would be called something like 'The Day Some Guy in a Tuxedo Killed All of My Friends.'

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6 Reasons Engagement Ring Shopping Objectively Sucks

My boyfriend and I have recently come to the point where we're discussing the whole engagement deal and have come to the conclusion that this whole engagement ring racket is an elaborate trap. It seems like it should be simple enough for two reasonable people to agree on some kind of tangible engagement symbol that doesn't cost you thousands of dol

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