Cracked Archive - News


The 22 Most Misleading Viral Photos (Explained)

Our quest to sift through the bullshit for you continues.


Store Update: A Sale as Black as the Frozen Heart of Winter

Since the world can turn any apartment into a Wearegettingthroughthisgoddamnit Bunker, why not make the space you're hunkered down in worth the hunkering?


5 Huge Brands That Pissed Off Whole Countries With Marketing

Always make sure to check if the mere existence of your product insults your entire consumer base so viciously that they show up at your factory with pitchforks.


The 14 Most Underreported News Stories of 2013

Much like we are constantly debunking your school textbooks, we also feel it's our duty to let you know about some pretty important stuff you probably missed.


Time to Buy the Shirts You Really Wanted

It's too late for this Christmas, but you could finally fulfill your yearly vow to get your Christmas shopping done early and buy now for 2014.


The 5 People You Become After a Night of Drinking

You can only learn the most about people when you are totally hammered.


The 18 Most Embarrassing Photos of the Next 12 Months

It's that time of the year again when we ask our readers to channel their inner Perez Hiltons and show us the horrifying future of pop culture.


5 Amazing Pieces of Good News Nobody Is Reporting

You can sit around and worry about debt ceilings and terror attacks, but take a moment to appreciate that you happen to be alive during the golden age of humanity.


5 Reasons 2013 Was Actually 1996 All Over Again

This year was not the year you thought it was. So if you wrongly believe what year it currently is, this will be the most important thing you will read all year. Year year year.


Put Everything Awesome on Your Body Before It's Too Late

Whoa, buddy, we didn't ask for your life story. All we ask is that you check out the very newest shirt offering from the Cracked Dispensary.


5 Shocking Failures in 2013 We Should Have Seen Coming

Here are five of the most ridiculous questions we were asked in 2013 that we should've already known the answers to.


Nudity is Overrated, Wear a T-Shirt

Masturbation is fun, but the ultimate self-gratification is giving yourself one these.


17 Obnoxious Figures of Speech: Translated

Euphemisms have long been a way for people to sugar coat the harsh or boring truths they're trying to get across.