There are a few core philosophical thought experiments at the center of our most popular movies, like ancient cheat codes that filmmakers know we'll pay to see depicted on the big screen over and over again.
Indie filmmakers, heed my warnings. I have scrawled them here, like a madman's crooked notations on a napkin he hopes to somehow put in the hands of a former self, a younger self or a less haunted self.
The longer and harder you look at something, the more grotesque it's going to get.
In the case of following four directors, they would have been better off creating one great movie and then bowing out of the spotlight forever. Instead, they insisted that the world keep watching as they committed cultural suicide, 90 painful minutes at a time.
Even great movies build key plot points around utterly impossible events hidden by clever edits.
Even if two franchises share the same fans, that doesn't mean it makes any sense for the characters to show up in the same universe.
It turns out that some artists are just putting forth a certain sound with the instrument they have been given without any mastery or understanding of how it got there.
If there's one thing Hollywood loves more than a happy ending, it's a happy ending that accidentally screws over the hero.
It turns out that Batman has not just murdered several dudes over the years, but done so in gruesome ways that probably made his victims wish that he'd just shot them.
With the final installment of the Twilight series out now, it seemed as good a time as any to get everyone up to speed on the franchise while doing the least amount of work possible.
Just like a broken watch, even the Internet is right every once in a while
Movie robots can think and love and perform amazing feats, and every kid wants one. Yet if they were built and sold by a real company, they'd be yanked from the market within minutes due to their glaring design oversights.
Like in any job, accidents tend to happen when they're shooting a movie ... and sometimes those accidents turn out to be far better than what the director originally had in mind and are left in the film.
We may like to think of celebrities as a bunch of shallow dumbasses, but in a surprising number of cases (assuming that you find the number six surprising), some of our stupidest celebrities are like daytime TV versions of Verbal Kint.