Every respectable superhero must have a secret identity, because there's nothing more heroic than lying to everyone you know.
While I have no idea if Hollywood is accurate in its portrayal of doctors or lawyers or functioning human beings, I can say with total certainty that, when it comes to writing about awkward people, Hollywood is absolutely dogshit.
Let's take a moment to sympathize with the cult followings of these shows who will never know how their stories turned out.
While a studio like Pixar can consistently put out movies that entertain kids and adults alike, a lot of misguided attempts to make films for the younger crowd currently pollute Netflix and video stores.
You might think that 'a movie about dirt bike jousting directed by George Romero' would pretty much cover all the bizarre stuff going on in this movie, but trust me on this: It is only the beginning.
So here's the deal. I compiled a list of the most insane things I do and then looked them up online to make my diagnosis.
Seriously, most of these characters use their incredible abilities to do one or two neat things and then forget they have them.
The reality is that lots of your favorite franchises had to suffer through ill-conceived false starts before rounding into shape, at which point their creators hoped you would forget all about the early efforts.
While I, of course, can't prove the naysayers 'wrong,' perhaps I can give them four tips to assist them in their viewing experience.
These are pure good vs. evil stories, and Supes is always on the good side. Right?
Sometimes a movie you've seen a million times will convince you it's about something very simple, when, in fact, there was a hidden meaning all along.
We've seen just about all of the grisly crime porn available, and most of it doesn't make for great comedy. That can't be said for the things on this list, though!