Cracked Archive - History

The Historical Figure Who Invented A Country (And Got Away With It)

Sometimes if you tell hundreds of people you're the king of a far-off land, they'll just believe you.


Alice Roosevelt Was Possibly Cooler Than Her Dad

It may very well have been Alice's lifelong fight for her dad's attention that led her to become a complete badass.


Why Christmas Llamas Are a Thing: Death and Puns

What on Earth do llamas have to do with Christmas?


4 Famous Historical Figures (Who Were Doin' It Nonstop)

Someday we must all learn about the prodigious love life of H.G. Wells.


Prussia's King Tried To Breed An Army Of Gigantic Super-Soldiers

The upside was that the pay (like the height) was well above-average. The downside was that you didn't have much of a choice.


The Forty Elephants: The Victorian-Era Bling Ring

What good is a bustle if you can't use it to hide ill-gotten gains?


The Time Killer Whales Teamed Up With Whale Killers

Things aren't always so black and white.


'Brazilian Waxing' Became Popular Because Pubic Hair is Legally Too Sexy

It’s like if cleavage was outlawed, so everyone started getting horny about turtlenecks.


The Brutal Battle of Chuck E. Cheese v. ShowBiz Pizza

It's the 'Game of Thrones' of third-rate pizza.


The Creepiest Dish In French Cuisine (Is Eating A Lil' Bird In One Bite)

The ortolan is a small songbird that’s considered a French delicacy, but it ain’t no chicken.


Anatoly Slivko, the Terrifying Soviet Necrophiliac Serial Killer

He was like a Soviet Hannibal Lecter, though he sucked at it.


The (Accident Riddled) History Of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is an absurd helium-filled mess.


5 Randos That Proved To Be Unkillable When Faced With Certain Death

They store down Death. Death blinked.