Cracked Archive - History

The Barbaric 19th Century Surgery with a 300 Percent Mortality Rate
Pioneering surgeon Robert Liston swung a bone-saw with such ferocity that he was allegedly able to kill three men on or around the operating table (such as it was back then) in one fell swoop
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- By Mike Rampton
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Real Conspiracies Behind Four Historic Events
Surprise, surprise — the story of war is almost always the story of government-generated lies and cover-ups
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- By Amanda Mannen
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12
5 Historical Goths That Would Fit Right in at Hot Topic
They’re probably already responsible for at least one T-shirt in the group
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- By Eli Yudin
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9
The Father of Astronomy Was Killed by Piss
In 1601, 54-year-old Tycho Brahe attended a banquet in Prague, and despite really needing to use the bathroom, decided to hold it instead. A few days later, he was dead
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- By Mike Rampton
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1
The Four Worst Jobs You Could Have in the Royal Court
The ‘Groom of the Stool’ might have been work fit for a king, but it mostly included studying his regal bowel movements
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- By Amanda Mannen
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5 Delightfully Cavalier Ways Illegal Drugs Were Dispensed As Medicine
Mmmm, opium tampons
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- By Ryan Menezes
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2
5 Unquestioned Traditions We Only Have Because of Marketing Campaigns
Cinco de Mayo is a conspiracy to sell more Corona
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- By Ryan Menezes
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7
5 Obvious Treasures Our Ancestors Considered Worthless
‘What is this platinum stuff? Let’s just throw it away’
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- By Ryan Menezes
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8
Four Normal Parts of Your House That Originated for Hardcore Reasons
That resplendent lawn of yours once saved the lives of whole kingdoms
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- By Amanda Mannen
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3
The Man Who Was Killed By His Own Beard
A 16th-century Dutch mayor named Hans Staininger had the most magnificent face full of whiskers the world had ever seen — a hirsute magnificence that ultimately proved to be his undoing
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- By Mike Rampton
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History’s Horniest King
Alfonso XIII of Spain had endless affairs, tons of illegitimate children (in addition to seven with his wife) and a sideline in commissioning pornography for his own private consumption
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- By Mike Rampton
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5
The 3 Most Juvenile Historical Conflicts
Hello, U.S. military? A guy killed my pig, and now I need warships
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- By Eli Yudin
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4
Did the Mastermind of the James Bond Cinematic Universe Really Kill the Creator of the Three Stooges?
According to Hollywood lore, Ted Healy, the man behind Moe, Larry and Curly, was beaten to death by three men, including 007 producer Albert Broccoli. But is the tale based in fact or fiction?
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- By Brian VanHooker
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2
6 of the Craziest Adventures Ever All Happened to the Same Guy
Meet Robert Bartlett who shipwrecked over and over and kept saving people’s lives
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- By Ryan Menezes
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5 Parts of Everyday Life We Owe to the Energy Crisis
Speed limits aren’t about safety. They were a failed government plan to save on gas
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- By Ryan Menezes
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