Cracked Archive - History

The Historical Figure Who Invented A Country (And Got Away With It)

Sometimes if you tell hundreds of people you're the king of a far-off land, they'll just believe you.

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Alice Roosevelt Was Possibly Cooler Than Her Dad

It may very well have been Alice's lifelong fight for her dad's attention that led her to become a complete badass.

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Why Christmas Llamas Are a Thing: Death and Puns

What on Earth do llamas have to do with Christmas?

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4 Famous Historical Figures (Who Were Doin' It Nonstop)

Someday we must all learn about the prodigious love life of H.G. Wells.

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Prussia's King Tried To Breed An Army Of Gigantic Super-Soldiers

The upside was that the pay (like the height) was well above-average. The downside was that you didn't have much of a choice.

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The Forty Elephants: The Victorian-Era Bling Ring

What good is a bustle if you can't use it to hide ill-gotten gains?

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The Time Killer Whales Teamed Up With Whale Killers

Things aren't always so black and white.

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'Brazilian Waxing' Became Popular Because Pubic Hair is Legally Too Sexy

It’s like if cleavage was outlawed, so everyone started getting horny about turtlenecks.

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The Brutal Battle of Chuck E. Cheese v. ShowBiz Pizza

It's the 'Game of Thrones' of third-rate pizza.

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The Creepiest Dish In French Cuisine (Is Eating A Lil' Bird In One Bite)

The ortolan is a small songbird that’s considered a French delicacy, but it ain’t no chicken.

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Anatoly Slivko, the Terrifying Soviet Necrophiliac Serial Killer

He was like a Soviet Hannibal Lecter, though he sucked at it.

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The (Accident Riddled) History Of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is an absurd helium-filled mess.

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5 Randos That Proved To Be Unkillable When Faced With Certain Death

They store down Death. Death blinked.

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