Which Site Has The Stupidest Commenters On The Web?
The original intent of the comments section--a place for readers to respond to content and start a dialog between author and audience--works fabulously in some circumstances. Some blogs have dozens of thoughtful, well reasoned comments cropping up at the bottom of each post. But as sites become larger and more popular, and as the audiences become less knowledgeable and more general, comments sections frequently devolve into a 200 car pile-up of stupid. Writing regularly for Cracked, I've gotten pretty used to seeing the regular types of commenting idiots. People who yell "First." People who yell other ordinal numbers. Spell checkers. People who post entire essays. Anyone segueing into something not in the article, especially articles that aren't about Ron Paul. People who post "Meh." Ron Paul. (Less frequent, but appreciated all the more for their rarity, are my favorite types of commenters: Nude co-eds. People who post '8===D' and nothing else. Naughty co-eds.) To see how commenter intelligence varies across different sites, I've created a scientifical method of analysis. By choosing a single story that multiple sites have reported on--The Development of Flesh Eating Robots--I'd be able to observe how different communities respond to the same stimulus. I'm actually pretty proud of this experiment: It's easily the most scientific thing Cracked has done since DOB had sex with that vacuum cleaner. A brief synopsis of the Flesh Eating Robot story for those of you who've been in your robot shelters the past few weeks: Scientists working for the U.S. Government have created a robot that is capable of harvesting organic materials (plants, animals...... AND MAN
-record scratch-) and burning it as fuel for its engine. Yesterday, the CEO of the company observed that the machine would not be harvesting dead bodies, remarking, "We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population." I'd like to imagine he continued: "Now please put your weapons down," but none of the linked articles can confirm that.
Anyways, here's what our selected Internet communities thought of this:
Digg is one of a few popular link aggregators on the Web these days. Users of the site submit their favorite Cracked articles, then everyone votes to see whether the community enjoys it, or only loves it. Sometimes non-Cracked articles are also submitted, much to everyone's embarrassment.
The comments below are typical: people making weak references to pop culture; people yelling about the main stream media; and a couple of guys posting in binary for no particular reason. (Just thought of a reason: their mom's nursed them on Kahlua?) Also keep an eye out for a guy screeching about how we're all being sterilized by fluoride in the water supply. What that has to do with vegetarian, flesh-eating robots is beyond me, so honestly crazy guy, I think we should try and tackle one problem at a time here.
Sample Comments on the Flesh Eating Robot Story
“We completely understand the public’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission,” stated Harry Schoell, Cyclone’s CEO.
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
So... Fox News has once again kept us safe... from flesh-eating zombie robots... oh... and the "homosexual agenda" too!!!
01000010 01010010 01000001 01001001 01001110 01010011 00100001
It's never the mission to create flesh eating robots, it's just something that happens along the way to creating Skynet.
lol what complete and bold faced lie to all of you. This company put out a PDF on the EATR outlining just how great it was that it can consume and burn any organic material including humans (which provide the greatest energy return) to power the robot with its external combustion engine. Stop being such simple minded sheep and trusting everything these skynet clone companies tell you
Their goal is profit margin and military contract not public safety and concern. Wake the fuck up from your brainwashed slumber, pull the jack out of the back of your head and open your eyes to the real world around you already.