Tricks for Celebrating Halloween at Every Stage of Life
Looking at Halloween across the span of our lifetimes, we see an oscillating parabola of hedonism: Babies, being stupid, don't understand the day and find it worrying, kids get their first taste of true euphoric excess, teenagers think they're too cool for it, young adults use it like a nation-wide masked orgy, and adults are just inconvenienced. But at each stage of our lives, different techniques, costumes, and behaviors may be called for to optimize our Halloween experiences. They are as follows:
Infancy
Childhood
Early Teens
Early Adulthood
Adulthood
You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter and Facebook or you can refuse to accept the loss of your youth and continue to attend those parties, where you explain to everybody that your costume is actually Dr. House, and not just "the creepy old guy."