Recently, I was on a 3 a.m. Google binge, trying to track down the true reptilian faces of U.S. politicians. I didn't find any, because they have become experts at internet subterfuge. But I stumbled upon something equally terrible. Don't ask me how I found it, because I don't want them to come after me ... but I discovered that politicians have been in a secret war with birds, and the attacks are horrifying. And it's high time that the public knew about it.

Birds Vs. POliticians: DECLASSTFPED George W. Bush Washington, DC- The traditional pardoning of a Thanksgiving turkey sets man and fowl at odds when t

Birds Vs. Politicians: Sarah Palin DECLASSTFPED CLaser Wasilla, Alaska A kooky aspiring vice president attempts a turkey pardoning do-over, saving one

Birds Vs. Politicians: Pope Francis The Vatican -Pope Francis recruits double agents to terrorize a false showing of peace. Doves are duped into the c

Birds Vs. Politicians: Oregon State Capitol s CLASSIIDED o S. Salem 1 Salem, Oregon Owls beset themselves on the heads of passing government workers i

Birds VS. Politicians: Parliament Hill D ottawa, Canada Multiple assaults are conducted on the Canadian government by a dive-bombing red-winged blackb

Birds Vs. Politicians: CLASSIELIDED Recep Erdogan Rize Province, Turkey A ceremonial release of a partridge at a Turkish mosque goes awry when the cou

Birds Vs. Politicians: Alfredo Zegarra DECLASSIFTED CLASOT Plaza de Armas, Brazil - Pigeons begin to edge humans out of their natural habitat. Mayor A

The One Terrifying War Nobody Is Talking About

Birds VS. Politicians: Rob Knight DECLASSPD CLASSIBIED Northern Territory, Australia Business Minister Rob Knight becomes the target of an assault at

Birds Vs. Politicians: DE DECLASSTEPED Gordon Barrington Barton, UK - Seagulls take another shot at the human race, invading a small town and terroriz

Birds Vs. Politicians: Bernie Sanders A FUTURE TO BELIEVE IN 00 ASS Portland, Oregon Bernie Sanders uses a highprofile presidential campaign rally to

As far as I can tell, the ceasefire is still being upheld, but for how long? I suppose all we can do is hope that the peace lasts, but how far can hope take humanity in a war this brutal? Especially between two eternal natural enemies like birds and reptiles? I'm off to write a plea to my state representative. Hopefully, he is still alive.

Find out why uncertain, furry danger is around every corner in The 6 Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit In Your Shoe) and see why humanity is losing the battle AND the war in 6 Unassuming Animals That Are Secretly Immortal.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch the war on man from the front lines in 5 Animals Who Can't Hide Their Disdain for People - Spit Take Theater, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

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