The Truth About That Conservative Lady On The Daily Show
If you don't know who Tomi Lahren is, you didn't use the internet this past Friday.
Because on Thursday night, commentator-person Lahren took a break from saying that black protestors are the real racists and tweeting that Black Lives Matter is the real KKK to go on The Daily Show and be interviewed by Trevor Noah. They talked for almost half an hour, which by TV interview length standards is 10 billion years. And if you learn about the world through a "Blue Feed," Noah and Lahren's in-depth conversation got boiled down to this meme:
I've seen that meme across the internet for a week now, and it's both bullshit AND the wrong thing to highlight. No really! Watch the actual exchange (it starts at 9:09). Or read this transcript I made for you:
NOAH: You consider yourself a conservative.
LAHREN: I do.
LAHREN: I mean, I'm millennial, so I don't really like labels. But yes, I'm conservative in thought.
NOAH: Sorry -- my brain -- you just gave a label to say you don't like labels. But anyway, um-
LAHREN: We exist on a spectrum, Trevor.
NOAH: No no no, I get you.
LAHREN: I mean, would you consider yourself a liberal?
NOAH: That was just funny. That was just funny. That was a funny moment.
Those are the actual things they said to each other. Both of them were thinking, functioning human beings the entire time. Lahren's response was only stupid if you leave out most of what she said. And the meme pretends otherwise on purpose. Why? Maybe because it satisfies the part of the brain that likes unbelievably perfect stupidity. Or satisfies the nasty part of our reptile brains that wants license to look down on people.
Or satisfies the frontal lobe's appetite for cute boy faces.
So, please: Stop making Tomi Lahren look like a clown.
Here's another exchange (starts at 25:32) from that same interview:
LAHREN: ... and then I got closer to the [Trump] campaign, and I started seeing some of the things he was saying, and I started seeing the effect he was having on people, and the things he was saying that were touching people, and making them feel like they-
NOAH: He was touching people.
LAHREN: Yeah. He was.
[rolling audience laughter as they catch on to Noah's joke]
NOAH: He really was-
LAHREN: Hillary could've used some of that every now and then, right? Bill was a little busy. Bill was a little busyyyyy-
NOAH: I appreciate you being on the show. Thank you so much for being here. [wraps up]
What the hell did she mean by that? Did she mean that Hillary doesn't get sexed up enough? Or that Bill screws around on her to this day? Or that Hillary's value as a person is bound up in her ability to gratify Bill? Also, here's something she definitely meant by that: "Donald Trump's numerous alleged sexual assaults don't matter."
"If [Donald Trump] does something I disagree with, I will discuss it." -- Tomi Lahren, 23 seconds before that.
That's some retrograde sexism right there. That's some fundamental cruelty right there.
So please, stop making Tomi Lahren look like a clown. Start making Tomi Lahren look awful, with her actual words. Because the basic concept of facts is under assault in this country. And if you want to convince conservatives to stop falling for fake news, like they have for decades, start double-checking your own posts before you hit "Sharesylike."
Also follow us on Facebook. Got Harambe?
2016 is almost over. Yes the endless, rotten sh*t hurricane of a year which took away Bowie, Prince and Florence Henderson and gave us Trump, Harambe and the Zika virus is finally drawing to a close. So, to give this b*tch a proper viking funeral, Jack O'Brien and the crew are going to send out 2016 with Cracked's year in review in review. They'll rectify where every other year-in-review goes wrong by giving some much needed airtime to the positive stories from the 2016 and shedding light on the year's most important stories that got overlooked.
Get your tickets for this LIVE podcast here!