The 6 Most WTF Protesters Ever Photographed
We've covered badass protesters like these before, but their way of protesting injustice -- repeatedly swinging their giant testicles into hypocrisy like a pair of fleshy wrecking balls until the whole damn system comes tumbling down -- is not the only way. Peaceful movements can be quite effective too. Reason, logic and empathy are all equally excellent tools of opposition, if employed correctly.And hey, if all that shit fails, you can always try complete and utter madness. Looks like it's working out great for these guys:
These Pants: They Are Unjust.
"Welp. We had a good run, clothes, but an end must come to all things ..."Nobody sings the blues like a black man. Nobody slaps skanks like a latina woman. Nobody drinks like a Scotsman, and nobody -- but nobody -- protests like a South Korean. When you're unhappy about something in South Korea, you don't write a wussy letter or file a pansy petition. You slap on your fightin' underwear and make like Michael McDonald: You take that shit to the streets. This particular image is of a South Korean soccer fan after his team lost to Switzerland in the 2006 World Cup. Though he was doubtlessly overcome by the futile rage that poor ball-handling imbues in us all, this man chose not to manifest it via something as pedestrian and vulgar as violence. No, he marched right out into the middle of the road, as both police and rioters swarmed all about him, and the world in general devolved into anarchic chaos, and he said, "You know what? Fuck pants."And he's right. Goddammit,
Kanellos: Canis TumultusJesus. That looks intense, whatever that is. But wait, this is an article about protesters. So where are they? Are these actually rioters disguised as cops, or was this one of those "protest via self-implosion" deals? Nope: It's the dog. The dog is protesting here. That's Kanellos the Riot Dog, and if you've seen this image before,
Are they fleeing together from an unseen enemy, or is Riot Dog just about to fuck up a brother with poor color coordination skills?
Keen observers will note that, holy shit, that's the same Gas Mask Guy from the last article! Greek riots are like The Expendables of social protest.A riot dog has been seen in
The Protesting ClownsIsn't that cute? Those clowns are affably mocking those police officers. I bet everybody's having a lovely, light-hearted moment in the midst of an otherwise tense situation up there. Except, of course, for the cop on the very upper right. Something about his posture is off. He looks a little scared, actually ...In fact, most of these cops look pretty frightened:
"EeeeEEYAAH!" "Haha, Bill, keep it together you can't be leEEAYAAAH! Holy shit I just saw it!"But why? They're just innocent clowns! Hell, they're not even really that: They're actually protesters who've dubbed themselves
That's terrorism. That counts as terrorism.
The Slapshot RioterCanada is like the second roommate everybody has. Your first roommate was a horror: He threw whiskey bottles at the cat and held a rave in the bathroom during Thanksgiving Dinner. You were so shell-shocked from that whole experience that anybody with sideburns starts seeming like an unquantifiable risk. So when you were looking for your next roomie, you opted for the boring guy: He's friendly, polite, courteous and an all around great person. You know what? That's not fair: He's not really "boring," so much as he is "lacking in drama." This guy rules. Chris, buddy,
Lil' Horsey RioterMark Duggan was
"What's that you say? Smoke? Sir, I'll be with you in a moment. I'm busy pre-murdering the guy just to the left of frame with my steely gaze."
"Hey, fuck you piiiinnnNYAA*"
"Ahhh, much better. Now, you were saying, something burning? Oh, me? I'm burning? No, ha ha, no. I'm afraid I don't have time for that."
Motorcycle-Riding LuchadoreThis man is part of a protest on behalf of
You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+. Or you can join him for his annual re-enactment of the Rioting Luchadore. You bring the motorcycle and the Luchadore gear; Robert will bring the riot police.
Check out more from Robert in The U.S. Army's Weed Weapon: A Paranoid But True Conspiracy and How a Biotech Company Almost Killed The World (With Booze).