The 5 Most Mind-Blowing Moments from Indian Action Movies
The rest of the world thinks of America like that first roommate out of college: Sitting on the couch all night, telling swear words to Halo, farting into the robe they didn't ask if they could borrow in the first place, and just generally contributing nothing meaningful to the world at large. With one exception: Hollywood. We unquestioningly pump out the most crotch-burstingly awesome action movies on the planet. That's our thing. That's what we can point to and say, "here's what we do best."
And we would be lying, because there is a small state in India called Tamil Nadu that's been churning out movies which prove, without a doubt, that they can do action every bit as well as we can, plus throw in a hurricane, eight bears, a dance number and a bitchin' goat jump on top. They're called Tamil films, and here are the scenes that put America to shame:Superstar Rajinikanth, Murderer of Gravity
Tires squeal, citizens run in terror, screaming at the villains pursuing them. Just when all hope seems lost, one thug goes hurtling impossibly through the air. We see the foot that kicked him: It is wrapped in a second-tier running shoe. It may be a Puma. The foot lifts, and we are slowly introduced to the hero, the badass, the man that nightmares have nightmares about. He looks like Wayne Newton.Related: 5 Everyday Things That Go Totally Nuts in Zero Gravity
T. Rajender, Dance-fighting Ewok
T. Rajender is equal parts Chaka fromRelated: The Dark Secrets Behind the Ewoks (Seriously)
Captain Vijayakanth, Flailing Pile of Fat and Death
As previously indicated by Superstar Rajinikanth, tubby older men with colorful shirts and mid-grade running shoes are death incarnate in Tamil cinema. And none are tubbier, more colorful, or more mid-grade than Captain Vijayakanth:Related: Underwhelming AF Deaths Of Major Villains
Megastar Chiranjeevi, Horse Bane
The movie tells you, right off the bat, shit is about to get real in a hurry: It looks like the only thing our hero likes better than moustaches and butter is pastel and Asics.Related: Forget Bane, What Fictional Mask Would be Helpful Right Now?
Balakrishna, Bringer of Madness
Don't be fooled. For a few minutes here, you're going to think this clip is nothing more than Indian men cosplaying Sam Fisher with a special effects budget consisting of Mom's Closet and Imagination.You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter and Facebook or you can google "Sultan Rahi" to see what Pakistan has to add to the discussion.