This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
New year, new you, right? Well, it doesn't have to be. But if you're under pressure from your friends and family to make a resolution, we've rounded up some items that may help, both in inspiration and achievement. (Also, "shop more" is a worthwhile resolution so you can just say you're doing that!)
Why splurge on cold brew all the time when you can make it yourself at home? Oh right, because it's terrible when you make it at home. Not with the FrankOne(TM) Cold Brew and Coffee Maker, though! This specialized device lets you make the perfect cup of iced or hot coffee in just minutes. That way, you cut down on your coffee shop trips in 2020 and still get the energy you need to kick ass everywhere.
Want to cook more in 2020? This programmable pressure cooker is a great shortcut to delicious meals. It has eight pre-programmed modes to simplify any meal, from sauteing to cooking rice and everything in between.
There will be much celebration at the beginning of the year, and you may as well celebrate with the finest wines. Or you can celebrate with some budget vino, put it in this thing, and bring out all the delicious notes via fancy aeration. Then pass it off as fancy wine and no one will be the wiser.
Don't suffer the pain of broken Lightning cables in 2020. This nylon-braided one is designed to stand the test of time, as well as the test of you constantly stepping on it.
Kill two birds with one classy stone (wood) every night with this wireless charging alarm clock. It's a great bedside piece to ensure you wake up with a fully charged phone and a cheerful disposition.
So you want to be Batman in 2020? That's admirable. This smartwatch will start you off on the right foot ... er, wing. The more you achieve your health goals, the more secrets you unlock. Ergo, you're Batman. (Or Batwoman.)
This fascinating little pebble is a non-contact solution to snoring that's been featured on Oprah and Good Morning America. If you want to save your partner from your snoring in 2020 and possibly keep a relationship going into 2021, then Smart Nora can help.
They say you should change sheets at least once every few years. Maybe you're ahead of that, maybe you're very much not. If you're not, please, please, please get some new sheets. These ones are a great deal.
This power bank is your ultimate on-the-go charging solution. With an 8,000 mAh battery and built-in USB-C, microUSB, and Lightning cables, you can get a charge anywhere you need one.
Fishing is better when you actually catch something. You will win at fishing more when you're using an underwater fishing camera to spy on all the fishies. Seriously, this thing lets you spy on fish!
Everyone knows you're not cool unless you have a Bluetooth speaker. Well don't be a nerd. Get cool with this pocket-sized speaker that's durable enough for use anywhere.
Whether you want to multitask more effectively at work or navigate a little more safely when you drive, this phone dock will keep you from staring endlessly into your crotch.
Nothing says New Year, New Me like clean bowels. The thing is, you have been pooping wrong all these years with your feet planted firmly on the floor. You're actually supposed to be in more of a squatting position. The TURBO(TM) Bathroom Toilet Stool helps you achieve that position for cleaner, smoother poops.
Make 2020 the year you invest in art. This beauty is bigger than you are, and will look great, provided you have the space to hang it up. Definitely look around your apartment for a place to put it before buying.
Want to add some extra spice to your Nintendo Switch experience? This adapter lets you play with Gamecube, NES, SNES, SFC Classic Edition, and Wii Classic controllers.
Prices are subject to change.
Improve your career outlook, too. Check out The 2020 Premium Learn To Code Certification Bundle and The Become A Social Media Manager Certification Bundle.
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.