So, then. If you weighed 500 pounds before, how much do you weigh now?
Fuck you. I'm lighter; I'm not crushing things with every step, if that's what you're asking.
Were you crushing things with every step before?
Just from clumsiness.
Got it. OK, this tells us something. This shrink ray doesn't just reduce the space between your atoms. The Honey I Shrunk The Kids methodology.
At 80-150 pounds, with a surface area of 1 square millimeter, every single one of these children would have disappeared into that soft mud and suffocated. Not the kind of crowd-pleasing ending we expect from Disney movies, unless it was playing to a crowd of scientists, who of course hate children.
So if you weigh less, that would imply you're composed of less matter now.
So what does that mean?
Well it must mean you feel super strong then. Way stronger than before. Can you jump really high?
Let me see. -labored grunting sound- About a foot.
Wait. No. Scale. Right. Uh. Knee height, I guess. Maybe a millimeter.
Huh. That doesn't make any sense.
Why not? That was about proportionally what I could jump before.
It's called the square-cube law. By shrinking, your volume has decreased much faster than your surface area. And because your weight is proportional to your volume, and your bone and muscle strength are proportional to their cross-sectional area, you should be super strong now. And yet here you are, more pencil-necked then before.
What a rip-off!
That's not everything. Your eyes should barely work. You should feel like you're freezing. You should basically be permanently hungry. All of your organs and systems evolved to exist at a certain size, taking advantage of a certain volume/surface area ratio.
I should barely be functioning right now.
Were you ever really functioning properly though? I mean, most mammals can hold down a job, or, you know, clean themselves properly.
Fuck you. So if I'm tiny, but still functioning properly, what does that mean?
Well this is just sloppy writing, then.
"This guy knows even less about bio-mechanics than that Dr. Seuss idiot."