Seanbaby
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One of the great things about people is that if you put them on TV, they'll do anything to win. Sometimes they're not even sure if they're on a show with prizes, or what the prize is--they will debase themselves and taunt their own god to win. For proof, three different groups of women have competed to let Flavor Flav inside them, and he looks like something that crawls out of bogs to replace our babies with changelings. To put it another way, if you were on the Price is Right and your Showcase Showdown was Flavor Flav on a dinette set with his dick out, you would pass. And the second contestant would bid one dollar and still go over. Because it's no longer medically legal to sell that dinette set, and buying dick from Flavor Flav... why, that's like trying to buy a rain cloud. That's why on game shows where the prize is a person, TV producers had to come up with a whole new system for winning and losing.
Rock of Love Bret Michaels was in the best band of the 80s, and I imagine that was an unfortunate decade for groupie sex. Bret Michaels has gotten so many blowjobs from 80s girls that his belly hair is permanently moussed. If it was 1987 and Bret Michaels came into a bar and said, "Our bus got a flat tire, we need six naked girls for sex," your girlfriend would start taking off her pants and ask you to set a block for her. On his show,
More to Love More to Love is the Bachelor, only everyone is obese. Which means it's the saddest show on TV. They didn't cast this show for sassy, fun-loving big girls. They cast for tragic insecurity. They found girls who knew going in that no one would ever love them, and they just needed someone to film them crying between snacks. I always wonder when they're producing a show like this, who stays back to watch over the inner sanctum of Hell? New Rose Ceremony: Putting Your Mouth on a Pressurized Gravy Cannon If the nozzle in your mouth blasts gravy down your throat at 200 psi, you are free to stay. If instead your mouth is misted with low-calorie cooking spray, you will be pan-fried and eaten. I'm not saying this to mock these people's struggle against the doughnut, I'm trying to fatten up the girls and help the guy. Because if a 240-pound woman is sexy, just think how good a 560-pound one will look. Man, you could soak that girl up with toast! 
My Antonio Of all the people used as prizes on game shows, Antonio Sabato, Jr. seems the most reasonable. He's a handsome older gentleman with rippling abs and a successful modeling/acting career. Normal women would be happy to settle down with him. Too bad the casting department used their leftover resumes from
Megan Wants a Millionaire Megan is another girl from Rock of Love who got her own show, only on this one, wealthy douchebags battle for the opportunity to buy her. Try to imagine how bad a millionaire has to be with women that he has to go on TV and humiliate himself for the CHANCE at paying for sex with a six. That's how awkward these guys are around girls. They couldn't get laid if their wangs cured yeast infections. I've seen Christopher Walken play games of Russian Roulette that were less nerve-wracking than watching these creepy assholes talk to a girl. And once again, while you wouldn't hide her from your friends, Megan isn't exactly disarming. There's no reason to be so nervous unless they're all Poison memorabilia collectors desperate to add Bret Michaels's herpes to their collections.
It's entirely possible that we're all just a few life decisions away from being truly terrible.
Businesses still have no idea how to market themselves to women.
We're moving toward an entirely delivery-based economy ... but there may be some people you WON'T want knowing your address.
How exactly do you get gigs like these?
The world is full of competition and insane people.
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