You go ahead and read that again. That poetry isn't mine, I can't take any credit. That's Damian Jacob Sendler from the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Lublin Medical School. He wrote a scholarly paper, in the medical field, that has "butt-fisted" in the title. My heart swells.
There's nothing particularly coy about the title of the paper, as it cuts to the meat of the issue, as it were, and leaves it all on the table. This guy compared the butts of people who had been fisted with the butts of people who'd had sex with animals -- or at least, the medical records of said butts. And hold on to your own butt, because you may be surprised to learn that the butts in question all had similar trauma. That's what happens when you go nutty in the butty. Heh.
So without making you endure the details of the full paper, which I did read and will now carry with me for the rest of my life because I don't know how to un-know things, I'll summarize the key points that make it a winner in the fields of science and butt. Four separate patients were evaluated after having animal sex. All kind of ruined their butts, to varying degree. The butt ruination was pretty similar to the butt ruination you may receive if someone were to put their hand in your butt, as indicated by someone else's study. Knowing this, we can conclude that there are some basic similarities between all butt injuries which result from having a thing in your butt that should not be in there. These are different than the injuries you may receive if this happened non-consensually.
And that, ostensibly, was the point. You can do all kinds of wacky s**t to your backdoor, but it's going to be medically different from what happens when someone does it against your will, and that may help doctors more easily diagnose cases of abuse vs. cases of just really weird consensual sex. Yay, science! Yay, butts!
Follow Ian on Twitter, where he might be talking about butt-fisting. Right. Now.
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