Magician Mime Dancing, Sports Hat Juggling and Men's Fashion Demystified: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The DayKen Create: The Greatest Sports Hat-Juggling Magician Mime Dancer Of All Time
When I was in college, Ken Create1 and I performed together as a duo: I would juggle the sports hats while he would dance around me in full mime gear (we took turns with the magic tricks). It was a big hit on the local circuit for a while, but I started to feel restricted by our rigid, over-rehearsed act. I tried to spice things up by juggling different kinds of things (blank CDs, hamburgers, dead birds, etc.), but Ken got really pissed off and told me to stick to the routine. I even ordered some books on Amazon.com about jazz tap and Kabuki theater and had them shipped to his house, but he took it as a back-handed insult and refused to speak to me for weeks. Soon the gigs started drying up, and eventually we went our separate ways.
I don't harbor any ill will toward Ken. How could I? He was kind of like a mentor to me. I've moved on with my life, but I'm glad to see that Ken's still doing his thing. Know why? Because Ken Create is probably the greatest sports hat-juggling magician mime dancer of all time.
1 Lest you think this is all some sick joke, here's his press kit (complete with detailed listings of every nursing home he's ever performed at).
With Winter just around the corner, it's time to make preparations for the cold months ahead. You're going to want to load up on batteries and canned food and have an emergency plan for your family and all that, but more importantly, you'd better figure out what you're going to wear. Navigating the gauntlet that is Men's Fashion can be scary, but don't worry: I've done all the homework for you, and this week on the Cracked Blog I'll be bringing you my five top picks for the season.
The Cracked Guide To Men's Winter FashionLabel: Dolce & GabannaMaterials: Polyester, (Endangered) Goose Down, That Stuff They Wrap Houses With During Construction
Message It Sends To The World: "I was once an Astronaut; Now I am an escaped mental patient."
Features
Metal clasps lock over zipper for additional theft protection, style
Waterproof outer shell keeps you dry while you roll around in the French Alps making snow angels with your other male model friends
Zipperless (the truly fashionable know that going to the bathroom is a childish habit)
Spacious leg pockets can easily accommodate travel-size beauty products, spare Euros, futuristic club drugs from the year 2049
Enormous collar that can be zipped up over your entire face, preventing people from recognizing you as the moron actually wearing this ridiculous outfit
