Letters From Santa
I like getting letters that say "Santa, I want a skateboard." Wanna know why? Because Santa can make a skateboard. Santa can make a skateboard
Santa cannot have that on his conscience. Let's get something straight: Santa delivers toys. That is what he motherfucking does, okay? I really don't think I should be responsible for solving a problem that, frankly, you assholes got yourselves into in the first place. That is just not on Santa's to-do list. Your economy's screwed up? That's on you, that's your thing, and unless you want, like, a Cabbage Patch Something-or-other or a Magic Pony that backflips or whatever, do not write letters to me. Fix your own damn economy, and call Santa when you want a Furby. I'm getting too old for this shit. Up Yours, Santa Claus.