10 Michelle Wolf Jokes for the Hall of Fame

‘Brides will say things like, ‘It’s my special day.’ But how do you call it your day if your dad’s paying for it? I think it’s his day, and I think it’s a really weird day for him. He’s paying a ton of money to make sure a man has sex with you that night’

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Learn A New Skill For The New Year With These 10 Bundles

Learn A New Skill For The New Year With These 10 Bundles

This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

So you're stuffed full of turkey and/or a vegan alternative, and are now feeling miserably unproductive. Well it's time to get off your butt and get back to dream-chasing. This is your last chance to score Black Friday prices on these awesome eLearning bundles. Just enter the code BFBUNDLE75 at checkout and you can actually do something useful with your time off for once.

The Ultimate Learn To Code Bundle


If you want to design the next blockbuster app -- like Pokemon Go, but with American presidents instead of laser critters -- then you need the Ultimate Learn To Code Bundle. Regardless of your skill level or knowledge, you'll be able to handle the bundle's ten courses and 80+ hours of instruction and start programming apps for laptops, mobile devices, and the web. The Ultimate Learn To Code Bundle usually sells for $1,186, but you can get it at a 95 percent price reduction for just $49.

The Ultimate Music Production Bundle

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Don't worry if you don't have the prefix "Lil" in front of your name. You can still learn how to record and mix your own music like a professional with the Ultimate Music Production Bundle. This bundle will teach you how to use top-of-the-line tools like Logic Pro X and Ableton Live 9 to create awesome radio-ready tracks to help you launch a music career and/or share with your friends and family, whether they asked to hear them or not. Normally, access to all seven courses contained in the bundle would cost $1,100, but right now you can take 96 percent off that price and unlock the whole bundle for $42.

The Fundamentals Of Drawing


Let's say you've got a killer idea for a graphic novel, or just want to get started on a career as a police sketch artist, but the most sophisticated thing you've ever drawn is directions to the Subway around the corner on the back of a gas bill. That's where the Fundamentals of Drawing comes in. This bundle contains over 40 hours of instruction designed to teach you both the basics of drawing and advanced techniques without shelling out a king's ransom for art school. Normally, Fundamentals Of Drawing sells for $694.93, but you can get it at 94 percent off for just $39.

The Digital Marketing Foundations Mega Bundle

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If you're looking to monetize your YouTube channel, Facebook page, Instagram, or pet's Twitter account, you absolutely must have the Digital Marketing Foundations Mega Bundle. Across eight courses and 25 hours of instruction, you'll learn how to become an advertising professional in everything from Google Ad Words to Pinterest, so you (or your adorable tweeting cat) can finally start getting paid for all those shares and retweets. Normally, access to this bundle sells for $992, but right now you can take 96 percent off and get it for $39.

The Lifetime MBA Boot Camp Bundle


If you want to get your MBA but don't have the personal wealth in oil and/or lottery winnings to cover the necessary tuition, take a look at the Lifetime MBA Boot Camp Bundle. You'll get over 80 hours of accredited business training, so you can get started on a lucrative new career in upper-level management and strategy. This bundle is valued at $1,622, but you can get it at 98 percent off for just $29.

The Beginner-To-Expert Photographer And Videography Bundle


The Beginner-To-Expert Photographer and Videography Bundle will give you over 34 hours of step by step instruction in creating professional-quality photos and videos. Even if you've never held a camera before, you'll still be able to handle this level of instruction. Normally, this bundle's seven courses and over 35 hours of instruction costs $1,393, but you can take 97 percent off and get the whole shebang for $35.

The Project Management Professional Certification Training Bundle


Helicopters are cool, and if you want to afford your own one day, then you need a career that pays. Enter the Project Management Professional Certification Training Bundle. This bundle offers over 100 hours of instruction to prepare you for the certification exams in the field of project management, one of the most sought-after qualifications in the professional sector. Normally, lifetime access to this bundle sells for $2,691, but right now you can get it at 98 percent off for only $49.

Copywriting Mastery Bundle


If you'd like to start a solid career as a freelance copywriter, or if you want to learn the writing skills necessary to better sell your own products, be it custom-designed T-shirts or a remote-controlled toaster, then jump into the Copywriting Mastery Bundle ASAP. With this bundle, you'll learn a number of skills that will help you make money off of your writing, including how to improve your creative writing skills, how to write good copy that sells, and how to start your own freelance copywriting business. The Copywriting Mastery Bundle normally sells for $660, but right now you can take advantage of a 97 percent discount as well as an additional price drop and get lifetime access for just $18.

The Ultimate Excel Boot Camp Bundle -- Lifetime Access


You might look at Excel every day in your dashboard and think meh, but it is an essential skill to have on your resume. Microsoft Excel is used for pretty much everything in a professional environment and learning it means you'll bring at least some type of utility to the table. The Ultimate Excel Boot Camp Bundle contains over 70 hours of instruction to turn you into an Excel-wielding office warrior and help you bulk up your resume to land a solid job in virtually any industry. Normally, this bundle sells for $1,380, but you can jump on a 97 percent discount plus an additional price drop and get lifetime access for just $39.

The Ultimate Data And Analytics Bundle -- Lifetime Subscription

Learn A New Skill For The New Year With These 10 Bundles

If you're looking to become the next Nate Silver, or just want to bolster your resume as a data science magician, you need to check out the Ultimate Data And Analytics bundle. This training bundle contains over 1,500 hours of instruction in the essential software used for business analytics and business intelligence, including SAS, R, and Oracle, with certificates of completion offered for each. Normally this bundle would set you back $299, but right now you can get lifetime access at 98 percent off for only $29.

You may never become an Adventuring Doctor or a Space Cowboy, but at least you'll be smarter than those Stupid Owls.

Looking for a change of pace in 2019? Beef Up Your Resume With These 10 Skill Bundles.

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