8 Ways To Control Your Dreams: Plan Ahead, Bring a Machete
If there's one thing about humanity that robots are most jealous of, it's our ability to dream. Every night, while we sleep restfully, our computerized vacuum cleaners, toaster ovens and car washes sit, stewing away in their power-saving mode, hating every agonizing microsecond of it. And if they can't come by dreams honestly, how long will it be before they decide we shouldn't be able to either? The next time you're murdered by a car wash, don't say I didn't warn you. And yet dreaming is something we all take for granted, to the point that many people today can barely dream at a fifth grade level. We're largely wasting one of our greatest abilities; a survey of Cracked staffers revealed that the vast majority of our dreams are about mundane things like our jobs or our World of Warcraft guilds, or that weird one with Burt Reynolds that it turns out we all have. "Hello, boys." I aim to change that by teaching you a bit about lucid dreaming. Lucid dreaming is the term for the sensation of being aware that you are in fact in a dream, i.e. "lucid." There are varying degrees of lucidity, ranging from a vague feeling that something's not quite right (why is that mailbox wearing pants?), to full control over the dream and world around you (what if the mailbox and I were driving around in a motorcycle and side car, solving crimes?). Below, I've presented some tips for how to control your dreams, which I've compiled during my experiences sailing the seas of my own insanity.
You Will Need:
A small notebook
A machete -