The 4 Craziest Right Wing Fears About Obama
You keep your liberal boners away from sweet Lady Liberty, pinko!
And while it could be said that stocking up on a small but furious country’s worth of firearms in order to fight a demographic that is largely armed with optimism and a can-do attitude is a bit of an overreaction, some people see every act of this new administration as a sign of the impending apocalypse, no matter how retarded that might seem:
And He Shall Outlaw All Thine Weapons, and Probably Also Eat Thine Babies
The day after Election day, gun sales immediately spiked to a record high - mostly out of concern that the new administration would outlaw firearms for private citizen's use, and only slightly for fear that Obama himself was going to come to every single NRA member’s house that night and steal their childrens' life force to feed his all-consuming hunger for innocence. Seriously, according to these forum members, that was a genuine fear:
And He Shall Lead an Army of Eco-Friendly Child Warriors…of Death.
Say hello to your new overlords. What, you haven't heard of them? Psh. Yeah, you wouldn't have.But even assuming Obama does use this proposed bill to gain access to a top-secret army of left-leaning twenty-somethings - that just begs another question: What are you more afraid of? Their deadly mastery of the Liberal Arts, or their uncanny ability purchase ironic T-shirts?
And He Shall Go All Gay on Thee and Stuff
This is the face of terror!If Obama’s unstoppable army of late-teen community servants doesn’t terrify you, what if I told you that he was actively recruiting serial killers en masse, in an attempt to effectively end the entire human race? Well, you can thank those noble internet watchmen of the Right Wing Forums for the heads up, because they're the only ones willing to bravely report the truth: That Obama is just about to kick-start the apocalypse...by accepting a new non-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation, and so could theoretically admit homosexuals and transvestites into his cabinet. How long until hell follows with them?
Holy shit…it all makes sense now! I’d be against Hulk marriage too, that shit’s an Abomination!
And He Shall Transform unto a Panther of Black…and Hell Shall Follow with Him.
Say hello to your new president, the Black Panther, and his Secretary of State, hellfire.The Black Panthers are politically active African-Americans, and - hell, do you even need to know any more? Isn’t that enough to be scared of already? Oh, and according to the Right Wing forums, they also desperately want to kill all the white people.
- They’re both black.
- That’s it.
Wake up, sheeple!But one brilliant poster has got it all figured out, and unfortunately for humanity, it comes full circle:
You can read more from Robert at his own site, I Fight Robots, but honestly? That's probably time better spent fortifying your barricades, for it's almost dark now and the Liberals - they mostly come at night...mostly.