Cracked Store Update: Have A Halloween Geek-Out With Us
Do you like comics? Do you like cosplay? Are you a fan of general frivolity and merriment? Then come hang with Cracked Oct. 30 to Nov. 1 at this year's Comikaze at the L.A. Convention Center. We'll be hosting some panels, hanging out with some fans, and doing our best to keep Dan O'Brien from hitting on Elvira.
Of course, the big question is, at a convention where the primary code of dress is spandex and giant swords, what can you wear to fit in? Well, mostly spandex and giant swords, but if you're looking for something with a bit more peripheral vision than this, then just throw on one of our comic book-themed T-shirts from the Cracked Dispensary. Here are just a few:
Breaking Bad isn't a comic book, but it should be. We're hoping that if enough of us wear this shirt, someone at Comikaze will get the idea to crank out some issues of The Incredible Walt. And incredible it will be. When times are most dire, and The Incredible Walt's chemical concoctions and quick thinking fail him, he utilizes the power of the blue crystal to transform into Heisenberg, a relentless killing machine that slings meth at his enemies. Imagine the AMC crossover opportunities. The Incredible Walt vs. a horde of zombies known as The Walking Dead. The Incredible Walt vs. The MadMen, an evil alliance of advertisers with the power to influence the masses and shoot projectile vomit after binge-drinking. The comics write themselves.
Don't worry about coming to Comikaze alone. Making friends is as easy as wearing this shirt, walking up to someone, and introducing yourself with, "I am Groot." It's impossible not to love Groot (at least the current version) and, thrilled you reminded them of the greatest character of our time, they will gleefully respond with their own, "I am Groot," before inviting you with them to watch the spittle fly from Stan Lee's mouth. Be careful with the "I am Groots," though. You'll know you've used too many (probably around the second consecutive "I am Groot") when people laugh nervously and slowly walk away.
The beauty of wearing this shirt at Comikaze is that it scores nerd points on at least two levels -- science and comics. If you're wearing it next to an original Atari or a roomful of Killer Queen cabinets, you'll hit the holy geek trifecta. And one must wonder what untold horror the arrival of the Silver Sagan signifies. Are aliens coming that don't find us cool? Are there planets made of diamond hurtling toward us from the cosmos? Or, worst of all, is the Silver Sagan a harbinger of Neil deGrasse Titan, Destroyer of Worlds? Surely someone at Comikaze will be there to give you a detailed analysis as to which.
Superman can answer every human cry for help, but he cares little about wrecking cars (or whole cities) to do it. And at some point classic cars would get fed up. With an also-city-leveling Transformer standing up for Automotive-Americans, a formerly one-sided smash-'em-up becomes a tale of revenge best transmitted manually. Who would win in a battle between Superman and the Transformers? We don't know, but we know where you can find some very opinionated people to hash that out with you.
Two shirts from Guardians Of The Galaxy?! Well, duh. Guardians is the best Marvel movie out there, and it probably will be for a very long time. (Just like Drax, we mean that very literally.) And we know that right now at least one red-faced fan is jabbing into their keyboard a retort so hate-filled it will place them on several government watch lists. Something about "Iron Man this" and "Avengers that." Well, save it. Come to Comikaze and we'll tell you why you're wrong in person.
Remember, Comikaze starts Oct. 28. So you'll want to order these shirts from the Cracked Dispensary as soon as possible. To get to Comikaze at the L.A. Convention Center, take the 405 to the ... you know, you're already on the Internet; just use MapQuest. You'll figure it out. See you there!