8 Hilariously Insane Examples of Vladimir Putin Propaganda
Propaganda is like nuclear material: It can completely change the political landscape, it goes scarily out of control when you have too much of it, and Russia has way more than too much of it. When America wanted an action hero as president, they filmed Air Force One. According to the stories coming out of Russia, such effort is unnecessary when your country is run by Vladimir Putin. This is a man who can't even go diving without finding ancient Greek amphorae, and is so photogenic they've been magically scrubbed clean before he reaches the surface. The fact that government agents clearly planted the relics only makes it more impressive. He has operatives who secretly SCUBA to plant artifacts in the Black Sea, and instead of sending them to Tomb Raid or kill James Bond, he told them, "Your mission is to turn the rest of my life into a Make-a-Wish foundation highlight video."
We've seen hisA Thousand Breasts For Putin
One man was allowed to grab a thousand breasts in a row because Putin. That was his entire strategy. Russian comedian Sam Nickel had a chance to shake hands with the Russian prime minister, wanted to pass on two kilotits of "positive energy and tactile experience" through his hands and kept a straight face while explaining that to a thousand women. He maintained a fierce scowl of concentration throughout the project, possibly to prevent himself from giggling, "It's working!"
Here a fat sumo really would be a combo breaker.
Super Putin
Most world leaders are drawn by political cartoonists. Putin was drawn as a comic book hero by a man who seemed to be motivated by the question, "What if Superman actually did something constructive for a change, and also wasn't such a pussy?"
The Man of Steel dreams of a Man Who's Real.
This is pretty much Friday night at the Cracked offices
Obama saving a blue-collar worker
Putin Vodkas. Plural.
American presidents get in trouble when women put them in their mouths.
Available in "Skull," "Bear!" and "So strong you can't look directly at the liquid" versions.
"He Must Be Like Putin"
This is how much Putin they'll settle for.
Like Putin Video Game
Like Putin is the first flash game to feature a politician as anything but a very badly-mocked (and often literal) target. Putin literally leaps out of the headlines to fix things he doesn't like, making this the first video game character less powerful than the real thing, who gets to set headlines before they're printed. Usually by saving reporters from a charging tiger.
In the game he only beats up terrorists with his bare hands.
The Putin Army
She's about to slap him and/because he's not even looking at her.
Asked To Award the MMA European Championship (Instead of Van Damme)
In what we can only take as a direct challenge by Putin to Cracked's resident manliest man, when Jean Claude Van Damme wants to watch mixed martial arts he brings Putin to make it more kickass.
Notice how Van Damme is thrilled to hang out while Putin wears the tolerating grin of a tired father.
The Convent of St. Putin
"Blessed sisters, I imagine that it is THIS BIG!"