I'm not saying there's nothing we can do to prolong our lives. Obviously, we can increase our chances of living longer by doing things like ignoring the trolls boycotting Ghostbusters. The point is that, even when we stack the odds in our favor as best we can, we still live in a world far more out of our control than we like to realize. Comets crash into planets, stars go nova, and films like The Force Awakens make a billion dollars in 12 days. Such is the randomness of the universe. Even when we do everything right, tons of people die for absolutely no discernible reason whatsoever.
"So many dick pics unsent ... where did the years go?"
All closed systems can only increase in entropy over time. The fact that we exist and have become complex enough to be freaked out by our existence is an improbable and temporary state of affairs. The universe is primarily filled with dark matter and dark energy that lay an invisible hand on the universe observable to us. That's a pretty dead giveaway that we live in a Lovecraftian nightmare world. I wonder if there's a juice cleanse for that.
Aaron Kheifets is an occasionally mustachioed comedian, writer, and director. You are allowed to follow him on Twitter, watch his videos, and look at his website.
Which Sci-Fi Trope Would You Bring To The Real World, And Why? Every summer, we're treated to the same buffet of three or four science fiction movies with the same basic conceits. There's man vs. aliens, man vs. robots, man vs. army of clones, and man vs. complicated time travel rules. With virtual reality and self-driving cars fast approaching, it's time to consider what type of sci-fi movie we want to be living in for the rest of our lives. Co-hosts Jack O'Brien and Adam Tod Brown are joined by Cracked's Tom Reimann and Josh Sargent and comedians David Huntsberger, Adam Newman, and Caitlin Gill to figure out which sci-fi trope would be the best to make a reality. Get your tickets to this live podcast here!
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