Here's another one of those times reality elbowed in on the satire racket with its old friend the placebo effect. Not content with smearing every food on the planet into your skin and hair, cosmetics makers have realized they can scatter a few flakes of gold into cream and raise the price like it's the colloidal version of your dreams.
The result is gold moisturizer, which claims to rejuvenate skin -- and does! But not because of gold, obviously.
How It Gilds the Lily:
There are big benefits to keeping your skin moisturized, not the least of which is that you might attract the attention of high-profile serial killers who can make you famous. But gold will not help with that.
The New York Times already called bullshit on gold facial care, but let's boil it down: gold will not keep you from decaying, because you are not a robot. Not flakes of gold, not a gold mask, not gold nano-particles, unless that mole on your face is cancerous -- but if you have access to nanotech treatments, we assume you also have scientists who can explain why magic doesn't work.
Here, I've annotated a passage to better illustrate for you.
New York Times
Never trust someone who can't even spell her own name correctly.
The only substance she's scientifically qualified to discuss is bullshit. You'd get a more chemically accurate description of gold from back issues of Metal Men.
At least the phony science there comes from things robots can't do, not gold.